


The Unexpected.

by Dfg



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Feelings, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Love, Multi, Passion, Romance, Sex, egg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-14 01:13:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4544451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dfg/pseuds/Dfg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if a human Inquisitor falls in love with Solas? what if she tells him? would be a disaster? probably but meanwhile take a look.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Today was the day, her day, she was going to tell him, to tell Solas how she felt about him, that strange elven man, who saved her life after that green mark was left in her hand, Solas....

 

She has a knot in her stomach as she approaches him, who is sitting reading a huge book, with a frown resting his head on his right hand and his elbow on the robust wooden desk in his rotunda.

 

Look at him and his shinny shaved head, that's not the kind of men she likes, that's the opposite of a attractive man for her, he's so thin, so delicate sometimes like the things he paints, but that was in the beginning, now she can't think of nothing more than Solas night and day and the curve of that mouth of his, so soft, always present in her head.

 

She stops beside him, looks down, Solas notices her, lifts slightly his head and with a smile on his face, greets her.

 

-Hello my friend....- Without a word she takes his left hand, the hand that rest over the yellow pages of that huge tome, she leans down, her lips about to touch his ear.

 

-Listen to me Solas just shut up and listen.- She can't see his face, but squeezes a little his fingers.

 

-How I'm going …. to.. live like this? You torment me, the looks you give me, the slight touches of your hands, the way you smile, your... beautiful soul..... I love you Solas, I want to run my lips over every inch of your skin...- Her hot breath cares his ear, and her lips barely touch that pink ear now, bad or good she did something to him, she continues to whisper in his ear.

 

-What can I do? I want more, I want your lips to touch mine, I want to leave you breathless.... oh Maker help me because I'm human, and I know what it means for you..- She sounds hopeless at this point, but honest and devoted, the inquisitor caress his hand with the thumb and like an exhalation let go his hand and leaves, quick without looking back at him.

 

Speechless he is left, shocked by this sudden passionate confession, he wasn't aware, of course he felt the sympathy from her before, it felt likes she was drowning and she had to take a breath.

 

Solas isn't used to this kind public affection somehow more primal, he is more subtle maybe .

 

He felt his face burn, his ears as well, his heart race in his chest, the way she said it, so hungry, hungry for him, he is flattered but worried, how is going to handle it?

 

Spends a couple of minutes caressing his own lips with his fingertips, lost in his thought, looking down at the book but not really reading, takes a lot of courage to do what she did, to show her bare heart in that way, he knows that, and hates her and adores her for that, things just got twice more difficult for him now, this wasn't planed, this was unexpected, specially by his own reaction.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again my apologizes for all the mistakes I did because English is not my native language, and if despite that you keep reading and you get to enjoy this, let me tell you how much I love you for give me a chance!  
> Said that, try to enjoy ;)

Solas needed to gain some of his suddenly lost serenity, some fresh air wouldn't hurt him, he was alone on top of one of the many towers Skyhold has, he sat there resting his back on the cold stone, wind blowing softly, the air was fresh with a scent of flowers, after all was early spring and the flowers in the garden were all blooming.

 

He rubs his face with both hands letting out a exasperated sigh.

 

“ _Humans”_  He mumbles, looking up at the blue sky.

 

Humans are narrow minded, isn't it? But she proved herself to be different with every decision she made, she was a worthy leader for the Inquisition, she wasn't a mage, and yet she is fascinated by magic, supported the mages in Redcliffe, and gave them a new home, she is a kind woman, even with her enemies, even with Alexius, now he is working for us, she wants to help, she believes in second chances and protects his allies and friends at all cost. She has mood swings, nowadays more often, and sometimes her short temper shows up to shake the stones of this keep, she is not perfect.

 

She's quick with her bow as she is hugging her friends, but she pats me on the arm, she never hugged me, I'm that distant?

 

She is short for a human, she's more close to the height of any elven woman, but her body is very different, more curvy, wide round hips and a generous bust, her body athletic and her arms firm by the constant use of her bow, her face is small, her nose as well, almond shaped eyes of earthy tones, black eyelashes frame them, her skin is pale except for her pink cheeks specially with the cold, and that long and black braid that rest over her left shoulder, she smiles with her eyes,  _“she is a doll”_  Blackwall said once, one of these orlesian porcelain dolls.

 

She is so painfully human, so much for Solas exasperation.

 

-Maybe.. if..... NO!.- He said “maybe”as a whisper but that “no” out loud with authority like a prohibition to himself, motions his head with a negative gesture as well.

 

-No...- He mumbles once again.

 

He never thought about her in that way before, she wasn't ugly, she has beauty in her own human way he can't deny that, but what she did … what she said to him, put thoughts in his head.

 

She left marks, like when a warhorse charges leaving holes in the tender grass and soil......

 

“ _I will kindly decline, I will tell her I can't, not now”_ He repeats this in his head.

 

* * *

 

 Two weeks had passed since her confession and they two politely avoided each others eyes, specially him, specially being alone with her.

 

The sun was set, and the people began to gather in the Herald's rest, a noisy place full with people of all kind, soldiers, workers, the chargers, music and even the commander Cullen, who was dragged from his tower by the Inquisitor, no matter how much he protested, he needed a rest and he knew it.

 

She prepared a table, she sat on her stool, Blackwall beside her on her right side as always, they were good friends, she valued his experience and his company, there was admiration between these two.

Someone sat on her left side, it's Dorian, her best friend, she spent most of her time with him talking, sharing books, and observing the shirtless soldiers training in the courtyard when the day was too warm in certain months, talking about the soldier's uniforms which they both disliked so much.

 

-Hey Dorian my friend...- She said with affection pulling him closer with her arm around his neck and kissing him on the cheek, Dorian smiles widely, that's what he loved most about her friend, that feeling of intimacy they have, he's a cuddler, but that's something hidden by his eccentric manners.

 

Cullen brought a couple of bottles, who is going to be intoxicated tonight passing out over the stairs? That was the game they played every night they dared to share a drink of that liqueur, that mysterious beverage that Cabot served in bottles, like it made it more special.

 

-One single bottle of this .. thing and the war against Coripheus would end,  _ **oh evil lord this is a present for youuuu**  _.- She makes a weird voice while pouring some drink in their respective glasses.

 

-Why, what do you mean? If he drinks … oh point taken.- Cullen said and chuckled.

 

-A couple of glasses and that bastard would be throwing his bowels the next morning, Makers balls sounds like a good plan to me.-Blackwall said with that deep voice and his characteristic colorful vocabulary followed by a hearty laugh.

 

The four laughed, Dorian stood from his stool rising his glass, his left hand resting on the table, he began to speak.

-A toast my friends.- The mage coughs to clear his voice. -For you Inquisitor …. I hope we survive tonight, and for me because tonight my hair looks perfect and that's an achievement worth to tell.

 

They all nod in agreement and they drank, all of them making faces of disgust.

 

-Hahaha Dorian I think I saw that little mustache of yours curl a bit more.- Cullen pointed out with a smirk on his face, he took another sip.

 

-This thing definitely makes you grow hair where you haven't! I bet that's how Blackwall got all that hair...- She laughs loudly caressing Blackwall's beard with her fingers, the man inclines his head a bit to meet her hand, smiles wide with his eyes closed.

 

-Damn now you know my secret!.- He laughs once again they all do it.

 

They drank a bit more, sharing smiles and short phrases, in a content silence enjoying each others presences, she felt tipsy, as the rest did.

 

Cullen was smiling running his fingertip over the border of his fourth half empty glass, when he parted his lips a couple of times trying to find the words.

 

-Why you touch people so much?... they may think .. things...- Cullen finally ask looking at her.

 

-Such as?.- She asks wriggling her eyebrows.

 

The other two listen with attention.

 

-They may think you want to... flirt with them, they can mistake your sympathy for something more

intimate...- He finally said, a blush appeared on his face, maybe because his drink.

 

She smiles at him she always found his shyness adorable in a way puppies are.

 

-I guess it makes me feel less lonely.. less sad, I'm the Inquisitor of the now mighty Inquisition, I'm intimidating, I try to be more.. warm... I don't know if that was the right word.- She takes another ship of her drink and continues, the three men were silent taken off guard by her sudden confession.

 

-I flirt without mercy with attractive men... it's true, but it's because nobody wants me, I'm not good enough, look at me I'm a small woman with big tits and nothing more.... and I fall in love with … the wrong kind of men.- A sad sigh escaped from her pink lips, she rubs her face with the palm of her hand, feeling dizzy for the alcohol rests her face on her right hand.

 

-Kaffas! That's ridiculous! You're a beautiful woman, is just … you haven't find the right man.- Dorian said indignant pulling her close.

 

-Thank you Dorian.. you're so sweet.....- He kisses the top her head.

 

-I'm so sorry I made you feel sad... please Inquisitor accept my apologies.-Cullen said worried.

 

-SSShh shut up Cullen, don't call me Inquisitor now.. now we are friends in this tavern..... I..I made you feel uncomfortable with my behavior, with me touching you?.- She reached out to hold Cullen's hand.

 

-No... well, if I'm honest when when we first talked in Heaven, and you hugged me I was... surprised but you know what? I like it now because you make me feel like I'm not alone, like you're always there, like I matter...- He was drunk but he tried hard to seem solemn.

 

-Then I'll never stop, I want to hug you right now!.- She happily said and carefully went to hug Cullen who was sitting in front of her, squeezes him against her chest, Cullen smiles because his face is smashed between her breasts, the mood lighted after the hug and they were soon telling stories and drinking again.

 

Was late, no more music, the tavern empty except for the four friends.

 

-Is time to leave I guess.- She said rubbing Dorian's back gently, the mage was half asleep on her shoulder.

 

-Hey Dorian are you sure you can go back to your room safely? I mean I don't know if I can help you, I can't walk straight ….- She said smiling.

 

-I can crawl up the stairs like the last time... take care my friend.- He says walking weary away from them, the air was cold, was probably midnight.

 

-I see you tomorrow beautiful!.- She said making sure he reaches the top of the main stairs in Skyhold, Dorian rises his fist as a gesture of victory from the top.

 

-Cullen forget about the ladder in your actual state would be a disaster! Tonight sleep on your desk....- She says trying to rearrange the commanders fur, he looked like a mess, an adorable mess, with a foolish smile and the eternal blush on his face.

 

-As you wish commander... oh I'm the commander! As you wish Inqui.. In... Inquisitor! Yesh that's it. She observes as he walks away, slow but steady, the Inquisitor rubs her own arms is cold out here tonight despite the alcohol in her body.

Blackwall has been quiet since her confession, the warrior warp his strong arm around her shoulders.

 

-You care about everybody... allow me to take care of you, let me take you to your room, let me help you.- She smiles, that was nice and Blaclwall's body was very warm, she wraps her arm around his waist.

 

The problem is Blackwall was drunk as well, and they ended in the stable.

 

-Blackwall this is not my room, I think.- She said narrowing her eyes trying to focus.

 

She sat on the hay.

 

Blackwall touches his dark beard and blinks several times.

 

-Isn't? Oh, makers balls.... I'm sorry.- He lamely said sitting beside her in that bed of his made with furs and hay.

 

-Do you mind if I stay here tonight? I'm can't walk.. I mean I will collapse as soon as I stand...- She said laying down, her world was spinning a bit.

 

-My bed is your bed, my lady.- He simply said and began to undress himself, the padded shirt, the chain mail, he wore a chain mail daily, and it was heavy and it made him look bigger than he really was, and finally a simple yellowish shirt, he kept his pants, she can't stop looking at his naked torso.

 

She tried to keep her eyes open, Blackwall was a surprise, a nice and warm surprise, muscled torso and back, his abdomen was well defined with all the muscles a warrior should have, veins here and there and also scars, wide strong chest and shoulders, with a little of black hair that went from the middle of his chest to past his navel, a happy trail she gladly would follow, she smiles to herself, that's the kind of man she likes, so manly, she thinks.

 

Without even say a word he laid beside her, hugging her like she was a pillow and pulled up a blanket, so, they were, under the same blanket, it was so nice, he rests his face on the curve of her neck and shoulder tickling her lightly, and like that he was snoring before he could even notice.

 

Before she melts between his arms she smiles happily, dizzy and really tired she gets comfortable in his arms, caressing the hair on his chest, soon she was asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you have to see how things are taken from you to notice things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well as I said before english is not my language, so try to enjoy, if you don't understand something please let me know it.

 

 

 

Too much sun too early in the morning was like a punch right in the face, Blackwall still asleep, she turns her head over the shoulder, there he was hugging her, sleeping peacefully, snoring sightly , she turns around to face him, to touch his face and beard, how fluffy it was.

 

He opens his eyes to look at her, clears his throat and smiles pulling her closer for a long and warm kiss on the lips, she accepted the kiss, because it felt more like good morning kiss than a “we are going to have sex” so warm he was, she was convinced this man was made to hold her in bed.

 

-My breath stinks like Druffalo shit.- She said making a face of disgust, the man beside her stretches his arms outside the warm blanket.

 

-Mine too, it's what we drank last night …. uugh.- He slowly sat on the bed exposing his naked torso to the fresh air of the morning, she quickly warped him with the blanket.

 

-Hey I don't want you to get sick, I know you're a strong warrior, warden and all that... but you're a simple mortal after all, I should leave now, I'm going to check over the boys I want to visit the mage's tower, they make an excellent potion to fight the hangovers, nausea.. you know......- How this man could sleep every night in this place with this cold was something beyond her understanding, before she stands he pulls her closer with his arm around her waist to kiss the woman this time with more affection, he ends the kiss and whispers in her ear.

 

-I don't deserve you, I'm not worthy of you.....- He whispers brushing his lips and nose on her ear.

 

She look at him, maybe she should forget about Solas and take what was in front of her, Solas ignored her since her confession, maybe that was the answer, Solas don't want her at all.

 

She kisses him tenderly on the nose.

 

-The things you say... of course you're worthy, listen rest a bit more, I'll be back soon with the potion.- Blackwall obeyed after all was a soldier and that's what he did best, he lied down warped in his blanket eyes closed, and a smile on his face.

 

She was aware of her messy braid, and decided to undo it while she walks towards the door, her hair was straight but the braid gave her some waves, her cheeks and nose were pink because the morning cold.

 

She took the shortcut from the kitchen but for her mortification there he was, Solas with a hot cup of milk and honey, silently judging her and right beside him there was Cole, nibbling a cookie, now he was more human and his body had new urges.

 

-Oh umm good morning my friends.- She simply said wishing to walk away as quickly as she can.

 

-I can tell you had a wonderful night by your tired eyes and the strands of hay tangled in your messy hair.- Solas suddenly said, with a monotone voice before she leaves, holding his cup with both hands and fingers tangled.

 

She tried to answer the faster she could but the hangover was killing her and made things twice more difficult.

 

-You know I'm always ready to share a drink with my men.- She tried to sound normal.

 

-To share drinks and beds.- He adds not looking at her looking at some point in front him.

 

Cole look at each other with half cookie in his hands.

 

-"  _Maybe if I love everyone someone will love me back finally” she's sad, “too human so much for me, but it's tempting me like I never thought it was possible” your egg has doubts._ I just want to help  _-_ Cole said  going back to his half eaten cookie.

 

-Cole!... you know, Solas you ignored me for weeks, what is wrong with you, what is all this about?.- She took red apple from the basket and left very upset, she took a furious bite, while she was chewing, curses were followed by little pieces of apple, she doesn't care.

 

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and tried to focus on keep walking, she was in that big room with columns on the right and the left with these two huge dwarf statues at each side, but she stopped to take a deep breath resting her back on the cold stone.

 

If things can't get worst Solas is coming after her and he looked angry.

 

-What...?!.-She said when he takes her wrist and drags her into that little circular library plenty of dust and spider webs, with a wave of his free hand lights some of the candles there.

 

-Solas, what are you doing?!.- She shouted, she was ready to push him away from her.

 

Solas let go her hand, and sightly inclines his face to look at her closely, his hands rest on the book shelves right behind her, she was somehow trapped.

 

-This is how you show me your love? By sleeping with Blackwall in the first chance you get? I thought I was something for you....- The elf turns away his face from hers, his jaw is in tension and his eyes closed tight.

 

-Solas.... first nothing happened last night, we were so drunk, I decided to stay with him because I wasn't able to walk straight, we did nothing more that sleep in each others arms...

 

Solas turned his face to hers with his blue eyes wide open and his index finger pointing at her.

 

-You're lying to me! I saw you, you kissed him, twice!.- For the moment she was shocked, Sola's face was red.

 

\- And what does it means Solas?, you.. ignored me for weeks, are you going to tell me what is going on?, because you never talked to me after my confession, that gave me a hint, you never liked me in the way I wanted, I don't have to apologize for kissing a man who is really interested in me.- She said getting really defensive towards his behavior, with her hands on his chest, she is ready to push him and leave.

 

Solas shakes his head while he switch his weight from a leg to another, a nervous gesture of frustration.

 

-You don't understand, he can't kiss you.... - He clenches his teeth.

 

-So why is that now? You own me?.- She asked confused, truth to be said she was intrigued now.

 

Solas hits the books with his fist.

 

-  **No!**  The thought of seeing you with another man, it sickens me, I thought I was over that because you're human... but when I saw you kissing him.....my.. my body just....my chest..I.. I felt like someone took my heart and my lungs away from me, I couldn't breathe.. I..-

 

So there it was, the calm, wise, patient and polite man, had that thing inside, the jealousy was consuming him like fire, like the blazing fire of the sun, Solas is a jealous man, who would guess that?

 

She holds his face between her hands.

 

-Look at me Solas.- And he does what he's told, his chin is trembling sightly, he looks somehow.. scared but also sad, that adrenaline rush was disappearing she decided to act quickly.

 

-If you want me, I'll be yours only, from this exact moment, kiss me.- Before he could react she was already kissing him, and oh maker Solas returned the kiss, passionate and out of control, he couldn't stop even if he wanted because her hands were everywhere, as his were.

 

The deal was sealed. It seems.

 

Solas had to break the kiss, he was breathless, he smiles because she did it, she told him “I want to leave you breathless” and she did it. The way he felt was strange, like drunk, dizzy, euphoric, with her face between his hands, he can't see nothing but her, her face and specially her lips.

 

Solas ran his hands on her sides resting them on her hips, pulling her closer ready to kiss her once again.

 

She pushes him gently away, her hands on his chest.

 

-Wait.. Solas I can't, I'm not feeling well... my head is killing me and my stomach …. I don't want to vomit all over you, you know....- Solas felt like he suddenly fell from a chair.

 

-Ah... oh well I.. I understand, please allow me to help you.- He said placing one hand on her head and the other on her stomach, her words brought him back to the present he swallowed hard and licked his lips.

 

She smiled and nodded, he began to use his magic with her, she felt instantly better and tenderly kissed him on the nose and the lips, was her way to say thank you, Solas smiled resting his forehead on hers.

 

-I have lots of things to do this morning, I must visit my men I wonder if they still alive after last night, I'm going to give our commander a break, he works too much, and sleeps so little, and the lyrium withdrawal, I'm worried.- She caress his ears and head, suddenly he looks sad despite how much he likes being touched by her, the idea of her leaving was far from a nice thought.

 

-So you must leave now? When I'm going to see you again today?.-From her perspective he sounded somehow between desperate and hopeless, but perhaps was just her imagination she has never seen Solas like this.

 

Solas look at her dark eyes caressing her bottom lip with his thumb, she smiles at him while she plays with the pointy end of his right ear, he can't help it and smiled too. It tickles.

 

“Solas, what are you doing insensate fool?” That question crept his mind, but at the moment, he decided to ignore his common sense.

 

-I'll bring your lunch today if you want, you'll be at your rotunda by then?.- She takes his hands.

 

-Of course, I'll be doing some research and the last mural needs the final touch, I'll be waiting for you.- He said and kissed her on he lips a short but meaningful kiss, so soft and sweet that made her blush.

 

She broke the kiss this time and walked away letting go his hand, when she was about to leave, turned around to look at Solas.

-Solas?.- She asks.

-Yes??.- He said quickly.

-I love you.- She simply said, blowing a kiss, and disappearing from his sight in seconds.

Solas was left there, alone, with the right hand over his heart, like floating with a warm feeling radiating from the center of his chest to the rest of his body, he looked around, when they first kissed he wanted to take her right there over that book on the desk, what happened to him?.

Solas sat on the chair, with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands.

-What have you done....- He murmurs to himself, so needed he was? This is not love, this can not be, is lust …. but he needs her? So lonely he was, even a human can make him feel the way she did? Solas' head was a storm, doubt and confusion but also desire, now that he tasted her lips he wanted the rest, he can't stop thinking of her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A good Inquisitor takes care of her people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again my apologizes for all the mistakes.

 

 

 

  
  


So happy she was, was floating.

 

She went to her room to get ready for the day, she did it quickly, changed that leather beige jacket for something more soft and comfortable, a wool red wine shirt, with ample sleeves, she felt pretty today, she can't remember the last time she felt this good in months, her shirt a bit open to show a bit more and tucked in her trousers, she felt so happy, brushed her hair and keep it lose and free.

 

And like this she visited the mage tower she constructed for them, was early but there were already a few mages doing whatever the mages did there, there was also a Tranquil the man was quietly mixing ingredients for something.

 

-Good morning, please I need three of those miraculous potions to relieve the hangover's symptoms, we still have them?.- She asked with a smile on her lips.

 

-Hello Inquisitor, I don't know I must check...- He was interrupted by a voice, suddenly a mage showed up from above, looking from the banister.

 

-We have only two Inquisitor, but we can prepare another right now.- An elven mage with dark hair and green eyes with a big smile on his face, she have seen this man before, she went upstairs, and waited patiently.

 

Most of the mages were happy to have the Inquisitor around, her curiosity for magic had her in the tower very often, bringing them artifacts or cookies, she needed to be kind with them, “how sad must be to live all your life being told you're a monster?” she often thinks about that, many of her best friends were mages and they were the nicest people.

-Here you go Inquisitor, I think this one is a bit more concentrated, because is freshly made... Inquisitor.... tomorrow we are going to test new spells, do you want to see it?.- He asked holding the potion with both hands, looking at her with his big and green eyes.

 

-Of course count me in... your name was.. Sorriel?.- She asked and he nodded, she took the potions.

 

-Thanks for this Sorriel, have a nice day.- She walked down the stairs.

 

-You're welcome Inquisitor, is always a pleasure.- He said waving at her, he was so eager to please.

 

Her first stop will be Dorian, she knocks the door, a couple of times, even a third time.

 

-My prince Dorian, are you alive? I swear if I find you dead naked on the floor … you better be dead!.- As she said it she knew it was an absurd threat, she decided to scratch the door like a dog would do.

 

-Dooooooorian...... Doooooooooriannnn, open the door, Doooooooriaaaaan oooooh Doooooooorian.- Suddenly the door slams open and there it was, Dorian wrapped in a white and fluffy blanket, he looked horrible, his hair was a mess and his black eyeliner was all over the face.

 

-Hello, last night sent my friend to his room, a mage, of your height, very well dressed, impeccable hair... have you seen him?...- She loved to tease him, she knew Dorian worked with his basic functions.

 

The Mage has a neutral face, he blinked a couple of times, and what is left of his perfect mustache twitches a couple of times.

 

-Hello, yes... it's me... you won't shut up. Ummm? You wouldn't ….- He turned around and just sat on his bed making an exaggerated noise.

 

-You look like a raccoon with a dead rat on top of the head.- She said smiling and sat beside him.

 

-Remember me why I love you so much, you annoying little woman.- He said looking down at her.

 

-You love me because I have this wonderful potion for you.- She said presenting the bottle right in front of his face, he smiled taking the bottle and drinking the content in one gulp.

 

She chuckled and the mage pulled her closer, resting his chin on the top of her head.

 

-That's why I love you, you my little and annoying friend, if I liked women... I would marry you two thousand times, I'm already feeling better..- He said and simply laid down on his back with his eyes closed, even in his actual state he still being a handsome man, she looked down at him and kissed the back of his hand, his lip curled forming a little smile.

 

-You're so sweet Dorian... see you later sleeping beauty.- His smile became wider and by the time she closed the door behind her, Dorian was already sleep, not like the beauty he was but snoring like a bear.

 

Still early in the morning, recruits and soldiers were already eating the breakfast and there was no sight of Cullen at the courtyard, he must be asleep.

 

 

All quiet in his office, the morning light wasn't strong enough to illuminate the whole stance through that window, but a beam of light came through the wooden ladder, it looked like something divine, she smiled and halfway climbing the ladder decided to be polite.

 

-Commander, are you awake? Are you... presentable?.- She heard a little growl coming from the room up there, but nothing more, so she decided to enter and when she did, she looked around perplexed, the ceiling, this was scandalous, the ceiling was broken and all the cold and the light came from there, not even a brassier....... she must do something about it, but not now.

 

Cullen was laying on his stomach his head turned to the left, drooling the pillow, he was shirtless, only keep his pants but they were .. loose it seems like he tried to take them off but failed miserably halfway and just collapsed like this, it was a nice view indeed.

 

-Thank you Maker for allow me to be surrounded by attractive men, thank you thank you.- She murmured with a hand on her chest, the woman was really thankful for this.

 

She found a blanket and carefully covered her commander, gently she began to rub his back.

 

-Cully Wully, wake up, Cullen, I'm the Inquisitor...- He suddenly opened his eyes looked at her, jumped out of the bed and stood in front of her.

 

-Inquisitor I'm so sorry, I'll get ready for duty in no time...- He nervously said clearly mortified, by the thought of her seeing him in this deplorable state, while slowly his pants slide to his ankles and guess what?, the commander wasn't wearing any underwear yesterday.

 

You can imagine Cullen's face red as the blood, pulling his pants as quickly as he can, turning around. She was sitting at the edge of his bed with a huge smile on her face, repeating to herself in her head “Thank you maker”.

 

-Cullen, calm down, sit beside me, I have something important to give you and something more, sit down is an order.- She tried to sound serious enough and it worked, he sat beside her.

 

-Yes Inquisitor?.- He swallowed hard, with that nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach, he looked bad, worn out with red eyes.

 

-Take this, is for the hangover, I want you to get dressed, to pick up everything you need, you're moving to one of the guest's rooms, also you're going to have a break of four days Commander and there is no discussion about the matter.- Cullen blinked perplexed at her, processing the words in his head he began to speak in protest.

 

-But Inquisitor, there is a lot of work that requires my supervision, and the new recruits need my supervision, four days? That's too much honestly... I don't deserve a better treatment because my rank I'm not important inquisitor.....I did something wrong?, I can try to fix it if you give me a chance...- The poor man thought this was some kind of punishment for his “incompetence”.

 

She took his hand, and smiled at him.

 

-Cullen you and I.. we are alike, humble, practical, we like to supervise everything by ourselves, we work hard, details are important, and we care about everybody and so little for ourselves... and because of that I take care of you...- She placed her hand on his face, he looked down, but his eyes were closed tightly, is bottom lip trembles.

 

-Cullen, look at me, you need a break, because you're very important for us, for me, and you're going through your Lyrium problem on top of that... I want you ready and healthy, is an order, do you understand?.- She smiles at him and he returns the smile, however it was a sad smile, Cullen squeezes her hand a little.

 

-But only two days Inquistor... please allow me that..- He begged.

 

-Two days then..... please drink this, get ready, pick up your things, I'll talk with Josie, she will tell you where to go and well... rest and do the things you enjoy, understood? And Maker try to sleep more.-

 

She hugs him with affection, rubbing his back, he does the same, he needed this so much, and then she left disappearing down the ladder.

 

-She cares for me... she cares..- He murmurs scratching the back of his head.

 

Her last stop was Blackwall, who was already awake chopping some wood outside the barn.

 

-Good morning Blackwall, I see you feel much better than the other two...- This man handled drink very well.

Blackwall chuckled, he left the hatchet on the stump.

 

-You had to see Dorian... by the way if you need it, here is one of the famous hangover's potions, the inquisition must sell this thing...you sleep more when I left?.- He took the potion with his left hand.

 

-Slept a bit more, then I had to pee and well decided to finally wake up.- He said not looking at her, the man took her hand and pulled her closer, for what she can tell he suddenly looked concerned.

 

-I need to talk with you, about last night and this morning... I want to apologize I .. I kissed you and I shouldn't have done such thing, we were drunk..- The man was really concerned, he squeezed her hand, looking right into eyes.

 

-Blackwall... I understand ...you don't need to apologize, nothing changed between us, you still my friend, I'm not angry, we were both drunk and this morning.. was something sweet, that's all.- He kept looking down at her without blinking.

 

-That's all I guess... my lady thank you for your understanding.. it means so much for me.- He tried to sound confident, Blackwall felt a weight on his chest as she squeezed his hand.

 

She smiles at him.

 

-Blackwall.. can you do something for me? If you want of course, Commander Cullen needs a break.. could you please train the new recruits this morning? I could find Iron Bull if you can't..-

 

-Whatever you need my lady I'll be glad to do it, these kids would rather use the shield as a umbrella, I can teach them a couple of things.- He chuckled with that characteristic hearty laugh of his to hide the hurt he felt.

 

“Why she doubts? If you want? Ask Iron Bull? She just has to tell me and I'll do it, whatever it takes..or maybe she is trying to be polite” He thought while she laughs with him.

 

 

\- Thank you, well, it's almost the time and I have lots of things to do this morning... I'll let you with your things Blackwall, have a nice day.- He nodded and she left him there.

 

Blackwall tossed one of the chopped logs aside with more force than necessary, rubs his temple, eyes closed, his left hand tightens his grip on the small bottle.

 

-Not like this....- He murmurs.

 

As she walked away she felt guilty for asking him, she will do something for him later, and if things go as she planned in her head, maybe she'll have some time to take a nap after all.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a serious chapter, because I wanted to settle few things about my inquisitor, but after this one things will be silly as always :)

 

  
  


 

 

She spoke with Josephine, Cullen was sent to his temporal new room and all of the available workers sent to his tower, they only had two days, they had to hurry if she wanted them to finish in time, the roof, new furniture among other things, she will reward them, she told the men, and they gladly accepted the challenge, stone workers, the carpenters many of them were involved, all working in the same place, as you can imagine Cullen's office was a caos, so she moved all his papers, maps, reports etc to the headquarters where Cassandra kindly tried to help her.

 

-The good commander left written letters ready to be sent, I must admit he does an efficient job, Cullen has a good eye for details and has everything in control.- Cassandra said preparing a stack of letters to be sent.

 

-Yes he is, he is a good man very committed to his job, I really appreciate that.... this one looks like a personal letter, he told me he has a sister, I can bring him the letter, the perfect excuse to see how is he doing.- The Inquisitor smiled taking said latter and holding it in a very special place under her shirt, Cassandra smiled and spoke.

 

-We spoke this morning, I'm afraid his pride is a little hurt, maybe you should have left him to do the things by his own as we agreed. Cassandra said crossing her arms.

 

-Maybe, do you think I'm a careless person, I know you do, but I do I care about all of you, have you seen how tired he was lately, the dark circles under his eyes, his red eyes, the headaches..? wait for what? For him to pass out over the war table?, he shouldn't be doing this alone, he's not alone.- She exhaled and stood with the stack of letters in his left hand.

 

-What you do is really kind, I know sometimes I can be … harsh..- Cassandra felt guilty.

 

-Don't worry Cassandra you're perfect in the way you are, see you later Seeker.-

 

Outside there was Blackwall with the recruits, the poor kids were exhausted, good, she smiled and sightly bowed her head as she passed beside the warden, he did the same, she thought the man smiled too, but sometimes is hard to tell with that beard.

The sweet Josephine will send the letters for the Commander, that woman is a treasure.

 

The inquisitor headed to the kitchen, one of the benefits of being the inquisitor is that she can take whatever she want from there, this time, a couple of blueberry muffins, she used to bake them at home with her mother, and suddenly she made herself sad, she tried to push that thought out of her mind.

 

-Blackwall, take the payment for your services this morning.- She said smiling handing the muffing to the man beside her.

-How are they doing? There is hope for the inquisition?.- Blackwall took the muffing and she placed her arm around his waist, so casual, he wrapped and rested his arm on her shoulder.

 

Blackwall chuckled.

 

-I've seen worse, they need more practice and more strength in their arms, but they'll be fine my lady.- After that he took a huge bite of that muffing, crumbs all over his beard, she shakes the crumbs off the beard for him.

 

-You're a mess.- She said smiling.

 

-Thanks the Maker you're here to take care of me.- He can't be happier when she does these things, she is so kind, he thinks, so willing to help the others, admiration and affection mixed together.

 

-I leave you with them, others need me, Blackwall see you later.- She moves away.

 

-See you later my lady...- He said, she always left so quickly it was even brusque sometimes, he wanted to say things, he wanted to keep her longer beside him, maybe it was only him, because she flirted with everybody.

As soon as she turned her back to him her smile faded, keeping everybody happy was a full time job, she liked to please, but she always had to initiate everything, nobody had initiative with her, well... now Solas, but as I said she did the first move.

To keep everybody's loyalties she decided to help them with their personal matters, even if the travel took her weeks, it was worthy, nobody works well for someone rude and selfish. At the other hand she's very loyal is just she is cautious.

There was truth when said she flirted with men because she was lonely, but she is not naive, she is a woman in her early thirties, even if she looked younger the woman lived a tough life, always surviving.

Affection was a leash, a leash she held very short to keep those who cared for her very close, don't take her wrong, she cares for them, but better keep them close, those who are more emotionally involved with someone are less prone to stab you in the back. And even with the strategy, someone will stab you anyway.

How many times at night in Heaven, in a camp, or in Skyhold she wasn't able to sleep? Countless times, because she use to over think at night when she is alone, what tormented her at first was the thought of “What would happened to me if when I fell from the fade in the temple, the mark was never left on my left hand, if I never touched that orb?”

Hanged or beheaded in Val Royeaux, that would had been her destiny after the “trial” Cassandra promised to her, she was alive because they needed her, nothing more at first, she wants to think different, but she lived enough to know how people works, she kept all this to herself, she never told this, time has passed and they seem to be honestly nice people who really want to do the best for the world.

She cares for them, an awful lot, for her concern. Even with the shadow inside her mid, the shadow of “they only are nice because they need you” She wanted to be careful, the Inquisitor wants to know the end of all this.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Commander Cullen is angry with himself and she wants to help.

 

 

The Inquisitor went to the garden, she was told Cullen was over there.

 There he was sitting on one of the benches in front the well, with a open book on his lap, wearing ordinary clothes, his hands over the book, looking at nothing specific, has resignation written all over his face.

 She sat beside him and carefully places the muffing on his book.

Cullen look at her and tries to smile, but it looks more like a sad grin instead.

-Cullen, it's everything right?.- She moved closer, his silence was the worst.

-Can we speak in a private place?.-He simply said and stood, the garden was plenty of people at this time of the day.

-Show me your new room, I'm curious we can speak there.- She suggested and he kindly but in absolute silence led her to his room. Was a regular room, not too big or too small, a big bed, a cabinet, nightstands, even a desk with a comfortable armchair, lots of candles and a window.

 She sat on the edge of his bed, and looked around, this room was far more full of things than his previous bedroom in the tower.

 He moved the armchair to face her and he sat there.

-Hey Cullen, if I move like this...- She began to move making the bed squeak.

-People may think we are doing … things....- She wriggled her eyebrows with a naughty smile on the lips.

Cullen turned red, as always, she stopped, not because he was blushing, was because he wasn't smiling.

-No jokes then?.. so tell me, what is going on commander?.-She decided to call him commander, because it seems it makes him more comfortable.

 -I'm angry Inquisitor, but.. no with you, I am angry with myself, because I wasn't aware of my state before, how bad I looked.. I...shouldn't have pushed myself so hard, now I understand why you gave me a break ….- He said letting out a long sigh, his left hand rubs the back of his neck.

 -We care for you Cullen, you're not alone...... your nightmares... they happen often or you can have a regular sleep?.- She asked placing her hand on his knee.

 Cullen shrugs.

-It is rare the night I can sleep peacefully.... it's even worst without lyrium.- This means the commander can't disconnect from his stressful day and at night he can't do it eider.

 Even sitting he looks tense and tired.

-I have a idea, I see you have, paper and things to write, we can doodle! Maybe we can draw animals!.- She happily suggest with her hands on his shoulders, she kneels in front of him.

-Painting? I'm not a little child inquisitor,the days where I painted horses like potatoes with legs are left in the past, I don't know how this could be remotely funny...- He said looking away sightly embarrassed.

 She begged now.

 -Please Cullen, don't be so grumpy, it's not a competition is just about having fun drawing silly things ….- She looked up to him and he looked back at her, having her like this on her knees, with also her hands on his knees, not to mention the excellent partial view of her … breasts gave him more ideas of things to do with her... but he wasn't like that, he wasn't that kind of men.

 -I could give it a try I guess.....- He finally said, she happily stood and they prepared the blank papers and the ink, soon they were creating strange creatures the ones resembled “animals”.

 -Why your squirrel is vomiting??.-Cullen asks curious and concerned at the same time.

-Isn't doing that! Its an acorn! She is holding it and tries to eat the damn thing, don't you see it??.

She explains her concept.

 -She? Is that abomination a female???.-Cullen can't barely hold his laugh.

-Of course she is, she is lady Squirrel, don't you see her eyelashes and her ribbon?.- She defended her art with comical gestures.

While Cullen burst into a loud laugh and has to wipe the tears in the corner of his eyes.

-And what is that sacrilegious thing of yours? .- She demanded to know, laughing as well.

-It's a dragon of course! A mighty creature! Look at his horns and his wings!.-He said all proud.

 -Ha! It looks like turd with wings!, and look at the face seems like it's dying please, end the suffering!!!.- All this was so silly, they both were laughing looking at each others masterpieces.

 -The truth is, I tried to do a gryphon, that's why has that face, looks like a chicken with bat wings or something... I think we should leave the artistic things to Solas.- She agreed with him.

 Suddenly Cullen looked so young so full of life with a slight blush on his cheeks and special light in his eyes, he smiles fully and his laugh is adorable, he even snorts when he laughs so much, he is the perfect man, damn it.

\- I have a idea.... take off your shirt.-She simply said.

-What, why? I mean I don't mind....but.- For her surprise he took his shirt off right away, and stood right there shirtless in front of her, Cullen was ready to take whatever she gives to him, he is fully aware of his body and his face, he knows he is attractive, is just he is a shy and a humble man.

 But right now it feels so good to be around her.

 He licks the corner of his mouth with a playful smile looking down at her.

She was thankful for being a woman, he can't see how arousing was what he did.

-Don't do that again Commander, you're a temptation and if the circumstances were different .... by now just lay down on your belly, I'm going to give you a good massage, I want to undo all those knots you have in your back... when I see you rubbing your neck, you look so tense Commander.-

 Cullen swallowed hard, “Maker preserve me”, escaped from his lips like a sigh, what she wanted was so so so inappropriate but so exciting at the same time, the massage.. he wanted to be caressed and touched so much, and much better if he has to lay down because this will probably end in a erection, Cullen just does what he is told, and he can feel the extra weight of her sitting right beside him.

 -Do you have some oil or something? To run my hands easily over your skin..-

 -Yes.. over there in the nightstand...- He simply said, she can't see his face, and Cullen is happy about that because his face red all the time.

 She applied some on her palm and rubbed her hands together to warm it up.

 -This one is a good oil, I use mime for chapped lips, and when my skin is dry and sore, the air in the mountains is very cold.- Cullen just listened her while her hands gently applied the oil all over his back to later wok it pressing her thumbs on his sore muscles. At first it hurts but soon was a pure bliss for him, soft moans escape from his sightly parted lips in time to time.

 Every time she reach for his lower back or between his shoulder blades, the noise he make is almost erotic, she smiles, and is very relaxing for her as well, the repetitive tasks and the act of caressing someone is soothing for her.

 -You know.... my mother used to do this for my father at night after a long day working outside... we were poor, but we loved each other so much, what she did for him was a pure act of affection.- She said, her voice sounded affectionate and relaxed.

 “Affectionate” Cullen thought, her family.. her father... her voice was so sweet, she never talks about her family, she just told she grew up in a farm in the north in the middle of nowhere, at first he was aroused but now he was so relaxed he could just fall asleep like this, with her touching him like this.

 

Cullen cleared his throat.

 

-That's so.. so nice, they still alive?.- He asks, with his eyes closed.

 -No, they're dead, first my father some years later my mother did.- She simply said, massaging Cullen's back, every inch of his skin, very meticulously.

 -I'm so sorry, I...- He quickly said but she caressed his face.

 -Don't worry, it's been a long time, but I miss them sometimes.- She missed them every day.

 They spent a few minutes in silence, she kept working his muscles.

-How you do it? I mean, how you can flirt the way you do?, I wish I was less awkward...- He softly said.

-I'm shy, believe it or not, is just... sometimes a good attack is a good defence and you know, a good laugh, a couple of winks and the awkwardness disappears soon, you can do it too Cullen, you're a handsome man, very attractive, women are around you all the time, but you're too busy barking orders and reading reports .. and worrying about everything..- She chuckled.

 -You can have any woman you want, I do what I can with all I have, but you.. you just snap your fingers and women are all around you like the bees around the flower.- She adds with a smile on her lips.

 

Cullen is upset and suddenly he turns around.

 

-How you dare to say that?- He asked frowning, looking at her.

 -What?.- She ask confused, take aback by this sudden reaction.

 -You're a beautiful woman, you're different and unique .. you're physically attractive, and don't you dare to doubt that....- Cullen reaches out to caress her cheek with his thumb so sweetly it made her blush.

 -For once I'm not the one blushing to death... if I snap my fingers will you come then??.- The bastard was flirting with her? He was using his smile looking at her right in the eyes.

 -Cullen... you're a sly you little... you want to play commander? See? you know how to make blush when you want.- She pushed him playfully forcing him to lay on his back this time, he smiles licking his lips, taking her by the wrist and pulling her closer making her lay on his chest.-

 -Cullen …...I.- He takes her head and kisses her right in the mouth, a full hot and erotic kiss, so wet, his tongue was everywhere, it was so overwhelming and with no escape, his legs hugging her.

 

She returned the kiss, but guilty hit her very hard in her chest.

 

She broke the kiss dramatically and fell off the bed, hitting the hard and cold stone.

 

-Oh my lady are you okay??.- He quickly jumped from the bed pulling her up gently to his chest again, she began to laugh.-

-Is just, now, when you finally make the move.. it's too late my adorable Cullen...- She look up to him resting her chin on his bare chest.

 

He closes the eyes, smiling and letting out a heartbreaking sigh.

 

-This happens to me because … because I'm so slow with this things.. when you said ...if circumstances were different..., you found someone, isn't it?.-He sadly smiled holding her face with his hands. She simply nodded, and he kissed her on the forehead, fully believing it was Blackwall.

 

-So.. you look tired Cullen, take a nap, I'll leave you..- She said looking down but Cullen interrupted her.

-Please, can you stay while I sleep?.. you don't have to stay all the nap just a little, watching over me...- If Cullen can't have her, at least he will make her stay as long as he can, just a tittle bit longer.

 

She can't deny this to him, feeling guilty as hell and like a bad person she sat on the bed, and he followed her, lying down on his left side, closing his eyes, he took her hand and made her brush his curls until he fell asleep peacefully. The inquisitor covered the commander with a blanket and sat on that comfortable armchair looking at him, she decided to do create more art just for him.

 

She created Lady Corypheus, with an umbrella and a nice dress, also a bag to carry the orb, and a pet rat who is supposed to be Samson with a leash, she did her best and tried to copy the draw, she has to show this to Solas, even if it makes him temporally blind.

 

And left a note for Cullen and the letter with the muffing she initially wanted to deliver.

 

 

“ _ **Cullen, use your charms with other women, don't be shy, you know you're handsome, there is no reason to be afraid, I hope you enjoy my last piece of art, Lady Corypheus and Samson”**_

 

She carefully kissed his cheek and left the room slowly.

 

She press the yellowish paper against her chest, she must find Solas now, she needs to kiss him.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes things are complicated, a little talk with Varric, and some strange dreams torment her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I apologize for my mistakes, english is not my native language, but I try! please enjoy if you can.

 

The bells for the lunch are already calling the people! She forgot about Solas lunch if she runs she might be in time.

 With a wooden tray she walks into the rotunda where Solas is painting up there on the wooden scaffold, when he saw her placing the tray on the table, she smiled sweetly and he went beside her.

 

-You're late...- He said smiling taking her hand, she leaned to kiss him but Solas leaded her to the corridor that goes to the stone bridge right to the commander's tower.

 And there he kissed her passionately, after few seconds he broke the kiss.

-I like my privacy...- He simply said, and kissed her again, she just want to be kissed by him, doesn't say nothing, she just wants him to kiss him for ever to wrap the warms around his neck.

 She wanted the time to stop.

 After few kisses, he looked down at her.

 -So what we have for lunch?.- He simply asked, his hands resting on her hips and hers on his chest.

 -Chicken soup with vegetables, bread and a boiled egg.- She went to the table where the tray were, she touched the bowls.

 

-Come before it gets cold.- She took another chair.

 -I'm hungry...- He says approaching the table, the smell watered his mouth and sat beside her, the woman was pouring some wine in their glasses, Josephine insisted in having some refined glasses decorated with golden borders and spirals, these were mostly for important guests, but the Inquisitor borrowed a couple of them for her personal enjoyment.

 They ate the soup first in silence, she likes to rub her knee with his, they both smile.

 Solas finished his bowl of soup, and went to peel the egg, he stares at it, in the corner of his left eye Solas sees the woman beside him trying to restrain the laugh.

 She painted a face on the egg for him, and Solas can't help it but smile.

 -After all Cole said I'm your egg.- He shakes his head chuckling, they began to peel the eggs and finally finished their respective food.

 -You know Solas today I felt artistic.. I did something you may like.. or no.- She said grabbing something hidden under her shirt, Solas looked curious at her... “these two would make a very good pillow to travel along the fade..” He thinks looking at her neckline.

 -Oh really?.- Solas coughs.-Show me.- She unfolded the draw.

-This lady Coripheus! See?.- Solas looks perplexed and horrified at the same time, he smiles because he doesn't know what to say.

 

Finally he spoke.

 -Soon you will be painting with me, I assume the rat is Samson?.- He pointed with his index finger.

 -Yes it is, oh no, I have no skill for drawing or painting, I did it for the laugh mainly, for some reason I thought it was fun..- She shrugs, Solas doesn't seem very amused.

 

Solas looked at her, “quickly say something” he thought.

 -It is fun, this .. this is a bag?.- He asks while mentally pats himself on the back.

 -Yes, to carry the orb.. do you like the umbrella? It's hilarious.- She chuckled.

 

The orb, his orb, Solas frowned looking at the bag, damn you Lady Corypheus.

 

-You don't have to keep it, if you don't want it.- She raised a bow.

 -It is for me?.... oh thank you.- He awkwardly smiled at her, but she took the draw away from his hands.

 -Well I just wanted to show you... I'll keep it for you.- She felt a bit stupid, after all was her the one who was in love with him, he haven't said a thing, he just kissed her.

 

She stood taking quickly the tray.

 -Wait... I didn't meant to sound so....- He takes her wrist, hoping to stop her.

 -I know it doesn't matter Solas, you shouldn't have to … agree with all I do.- She smiles at him the best she could, she shouldn't feel like that.

 Solas gets a bit closer to caress her cheek with his thumb.

-Please.. don't be sad because of me...- Why this was so difficult? Solas was conflicted in so many ways.

-I'm not, I must return this to the kitchen, see you later, I love you Solas.- The woman tilted her head she spoke.

 

Solas just nodded with a smile on the lips.

 

She just left.

 

“What is wrong with me? Of course you know what is it” He thought, Solas sighed and ran a hand over his face.

 

He wishes his feelings were more clear, but his head it's battle with so many thoughts, he wants her, he appreciates her so much, but there is something he knows it's wrong, why he can't be happy? Has things to do, there are more important things....

 

It hurts a little when he just nodded, she expected something.. a “thank you” or a pat on her shoulder anything, but not that, she delivered the dirty dishes to the kitchen and went to the main hall, few people here and there, some food is left on the long tables and as always in his corner was Varric writing something.

 

-So you and Chuckles...- He said keeping his eyes on the paper in front of him but with a little smile.

 

She rolled her eyes.

 

-Well more like me and …..  **“**  sigh  **”** nobody, that would be more accurate.- She said with a bitter tone, taking a seat beside the dwarf.

 

-Love isn't easy sometimes and with Chuckles … I kind of expected that .. Herald I haven't see you seriously involved with someone before, I'm allowed to ask why is that?- The dwarf leaned back in his chair looking at her.

 

-Well...... .- She laced her fingers together in a thoughtful way rubbing her thumbs together, she frowned.

 

-Herald you don't have to answer..- But she interrupted him.

 

-But I want to tell you... look I have a loot of responsibilities.. and every day more and more, I don't have time for romances Varric, I flirt it's true but never goes farther and we .. you know .. look at them they are comrades, brothers and sister in some way .. I never wanted to ruin the good harmony but, it wasn't my plan.. to fall in love, Maker it's a mistake Varric, I shouldn't have said nothing to him, why I had to mess our good friendship? I'm beginning to think... I should find someone outside the inquisition.. I don't know anymore.- She sighed and ran her hands over her face.

 

He crossed his arms on his chest.

 

-Herald... love shouldn't bring you sadness, I hope Chuckles makes you happy but if he doesn't .. well that shouldn't stop you to find someone, specially you, someone with such a weight on your shoulders should have someone by your side, not because you can't do it by yourself, but because your path will be long and difficult and will be sad if you do it alone, and you don't deserve that, you deserve to be happy as well ...- He reaches out to take her hand, she smiles squeezing Varric's hand.

 

-Also... I know certain warden and commander who would love to … assist the inquisitor with any personal matter.- Varric winked and the woman in front of him chuckled.

 

\- I know but, could you imagine if I decided to get involved in a relationship with the commander, I wouldn't be able to look to certain warden's eyes for very loooog time, would be unfair and awkward in many ways I don't want to... disturb the harmony between them.- She tried to explain her point of view.

 

-Herald I'm pretty sure they can handle that, they are grown men.- Varric tries to encourage her to pick a relationship with more chances of success, he cares for her.

 

-Yes.. but it's me, I don't .. know if I'll be able to handle that, the guilty and that.. well, my head is beginning to hurt with all this, I'm going to leave you with your things Varric, please, keep this between you and me, would you?.-

 

-Of course my friend, have nice afternoon.- She stood ready to leave, when she remembered something.

 

-Ah Varric today I felt quite artistic.- She placed the folded doodle on the table right in front of him.

 

Varric took the paper, and she explained her doodle to him, the dwarf can't help it and burst into a loud laughter.

 

-One day this will be a very valuable piece of art! I'm going to write a dedicatory for you Varric, give me the that quill.- She took the quill and carefully writes something over a blank space in the draw.

 

-Here you go.- Varric smiles as she does.

 

-Inquisitor I'll frame this, this is a treasure, never stop drawing.- Varric smiles reading the dedicatory once more.

 

-Hahaha did my best, but you're too kind and I'm going to keep drawing I find it quite relaxing, good afternoon Varric.-

 

She said and finally left she went to her bedroom to take a little nap, she was very tired because last night and the lack of sleep, she just wanted to closer her eyes and have some peace for a short period of time, so she took off of her boots and pants and curled under her favorite blanket made of soft and thick wool, she dreamed weird things, things about Corypheus, they were playing wicked grace together and Samson was there too, Samson's face was what she remembered from Heaven, not much, red eyes, stubble, dark hair, long nose, he seemed a nice guy despite the red lyrium.

 

Suddenly they had to leave, she wanted to ask so many things to Corypheus, but they walked away holding hands like a couple in love, and she was left alone, the cards turned into slices of cheese and of course she ate them, the dreams are so strange, when she heard someone cry, she turns around and leaves behind her stool, from the nowhere appeared a giant tree, was the tree crying?

 

No, between the roots, “what is that?” she wonders it's a kid, a kid crying his hands were darkened like with ashes, when she kneels he turns his palms up and fire began to burn slowly, she tried to calm the boy when she heard someones steps behind her, she turned around and it was an elf, a Dalish for his facial marks, he wore these beautiful leather armors his people craft, an explorer maybe?, he looked lost.

She asked him.

 

-Who are you?.- “I don't know” was his answer.

 

-Where you come from? Where is your clan?.- “I don't know”again was his answer, she asked and asked and all she got was same answer always, so she took his hand, the kid was no longer there, and they sat together between the rots of the giant tree, she pulled him closer and hugged him, he said nothing he just wrapped his arms around her, with his head on her shoulder, she caressed his blond almost white hair, was soft as the silk, and then he said it.

 

-I love you, will you take care of me? Will you teach me?.- He asked not looking at her.

 

-I love you already, even if I don't know you, and yes nobody will hurt you, I'll teach you a couple of tricks with the bow..-

 

And then he kissed her, sweetly.

 

-We are so many, can you help us.. all of us?.- he said looking at her, for the first time she noticed the color of his eyes, were green like the mark in her left hand, she looked over his shoulder and they were surrounded by thousands of elven people, all of them different from each other, with both hands extended towards her, the tree was no longer there but the Dalish still with his arms around her, she felt an overwhelming feeling when she looked around, and the Dalish hugged her harder and harder until she was out of breath, then he vanishes and she wakes up.

 

Since she got the mark, her dreams were more lucid, she was awake now with her hands over the face cursing her own dreams, she can almost feel the kiss on her lips and a pressure around her chest.

 

 

-Apparently I'm not allowed to rest.....- She murmured angrily.

 

She splashed some fresh water on her face and once again was ready for her duty, clothes on, of course, brushed her hair, she looked at herself in the mirror, she looked good despite everything, she had missions to do next week, and meanwhile learn to dance, she hated that, but was necessary for the future ball in the Winter Palace, Josephine will teach her, not today but she will have to be ready within a month.

 

What a busy day, she came to Skyhold to rest after a month in the Western Approach, capture the keep, do this, now go there, she liked to inspect every inch of the terrain, and right after that the Adamant fortress, Hawke left in the fade, poor Varric and Solas upset with her, because she decided to keep the Wardens with the Inquisition.

 

But she felt more tired today than she did out there than in a entire month running around, the stress was beginning to affect her but at the moment, she is fine, well she wants to believe that, despite the strange and overwhelming dream.

 

 

She had a idea.

 

-Josephine, I need to talk to you, I had a idea, I want to do something for the kids in the camps, we can bring all of them here and I don't know make some activities together, after all The Mighty Inquisition helps people, most of these children have nothing, not house or family... it's a good idea?.- She ask a hesitating, she knows her idea will require things and a couple of carts at least to take all of them from the refuge camps down there, to the keep.

 

-I think it's an excellent idea Inquisitor, that will be a solid proof that the Inquisition is here to help the needed too, and these little ones... will be a nice change for them these refuge camps are.. to put it lightly... depressing?.- The inquisitor smiled happily.

 

-Can we prepare cakes and cookies for them? I can wake up early tomorrow and prepare them with some help, the more we bake, the better will be, and... we need flowers and cords! And the mages! The mages can make simple tricks, no demons this time “snorts” Iron Bull can carry kids around … like... like two kids on each shoulder, I bet they haven't seen a Qunari before, oh Josephine, would you make braids with me? Flowers and braids for everybody!.- The inquisitor is euphoric and Josephine as well, the two women hold their hands together and squealing they giggle.

 

Meanwhile Cassandra was sitting on her stump reading a book and felt a cold shiver down her spine, in the barn Blackwall was carving some wood with a little knife, when cold wind blows, it moves his beard and hair, he knew something bad was coming, he felt it in his bones.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Visiting ex enemies and doing things as always my inquisitor has a busy life.

 

 

  


Josephine began to write things, a long list of things needed for tomorrow, the kids will be here late in the morning and will be back in the camps back in the afternoon.

 

-Oh Inquisitor I would normally deliver this to our Commander but I guess this is for you now, it's a full report from Alexius, he is back from his .. research for the Inquisition, I guess right now it's in his room.- The Inquisitor took the extensive report.

 

-Of course I'll handle this, we'll talk at dinner Josie.- She left and Josephine went to send some messengers.

 

It was the Inquisitor's doing to give him his own room, was an act of good will from her, because deep inside she felt pity for him.

 

That room has a single narrow window, an old desk with a chair, an individual bed, a closet and beside the window, a mirror and old washstand with a pitcher and bowl that was already here when they fund the room.

 

There is a guard in front the door, and basically every time he walks around Skyhold or when he is on a mission for the inquisition, he's never left alone except for the privacy of his own room.

 

She knocks the door two times and soon he opened the door.

 

The man wore simple clothes, she thinks it's normal after all is what she does when she is in the privacy of her room after a long mission.

 

-Welcome back Alexius, how was the Arbor Wilds this time of the year? Nice report by the way.- She asked smiling, the man tried to smile, but was more an attempt than an actual smile.

 

-Humidity and exotic birds everywhere.- He simply said she entered in the room only illuminated by a single candle on the desk and the daylight from the window.

 

She sat on a stool and Alexius on his chair, in front of each other they talked about the extensive report, this man politely explained what he found, and she listened and asked a few questions and before none of them even notice an hour has passed.

 

-So how much time you're going to be here in Skyhold?.- She asked changing the subject, because the man looked tired.

 

-I don't know your Spymaster or your Commander has to tell me yet.-

 

-Good, you'll have a few days to rest.- She smiled.

 

-I don't want to rest, I want things to do, to keep my mind busy Inquisitor, I don't want ...- She knew what the man was talking about, she had a question for him maybe today she can ask.

 

-Alexius can I ask you something more personal?.- The man look at his own hands and simply shrugs, he doesn't care any more.

 

-Your son.. Felix..- She proceeded with caution. -Was infected by the darkspawn, I heard some cases.. to save their lives they join the grey wardens the ritual they perform somehow removes the taint for another, I know their life is shorter but.... you never considered that?.-

 

Alexius chuckles.

 

-Did you know the joining can be deadly? There is a high chance of dying in the joining, that wasn't an option.-

 

She remains in silence, now she understands why it's a secret, because who would join them? if people knew, they can die just trying to join them.

 

-I understand... you ate something?.-She asks.

 

-I'm tired and hungry.- He simply said.

 

-Allow me to bring you something.- She quickly said before the man could protest.

 

She kindly asked the guard to bring something, she will watch over Alexius meanwhile.

 

-Many would think I'm taking advantage of you my child.-He smiled a little now.

 

-Aah I don't care about what they think, I do what I think it's the right, and I'm a woman not a child.- She smiled and winked at him.

 

-Your kindness is a dangerous weapon my lady Inquisitor, can bring hope to the hopeless, in the most unexpected places.- He smiles this time also with his eyes.

 

-You flatter me Alexius, are all the magisters from Tevinter so charming as you are?- She asked when someone knocked the door, it was the guard with tray with cheese, bread, grapes and a bottle of wine, she left the food on the desk.

And he ate some food and drank some wine, she also ate grapes, and they talked a little like if the past never existed, just two persons.

 

-Tomorrow we are going to have a lot of children from the refuge camps, you can join us Alexius, but I can't guarantee your safety.- She chuckled and he smiled.

 

\- That good heart of yours will be your end my lady.- He simply said before take a sip of wine.

 

She smiles.

 

-So be it! You discovered me, I'm a pacifist at heart! Quickly arrest me!.-She chuckled and he joined her.

 

She stood and he quickly did the same.

 

-I must leave Gereon, I hope you have a good afternoon and a good night, anything you need just tell me.- She said smiling and went to open the door when he took her hands, and looking down at her he spoke.

 

-My lady you gave me a new purpose, and I'm thankful for that, please, take care out there..- He looked broken and sad, she can't help it but caress his face tenderly.

 

-I'll be fine... please and no more time travel or talking with your last boss, you know it makes me jealous!.- He smiled wider, even if she liked older men, Alexius was far more older for her liking, the man still have that charm older men have and wondered how he looked fifteen years ago, he sweetly kissed the back of her hand, and then he opened the door for her like the gentleman he was after all and she left.

 

Some gratitude is expected from him, after all she spared his life and gave him something to do, something he liked to do.

 

 

                                                                                                    ********************************

 

The afternoon passed lazily, checking reports with Cassandra, sending letters, writing them, nothing relevant, she went to check on the workers in the Commander's tower and things were going very well, she paid them with her own money as an incentive, and it really worked, nothing like money to make things happen.

 

The sun was setting in the horizon, dinner was about to be served in the main hall, but she wasn't hungry yet, Blackwall was talking with the recruits, some warrior advice, Bull was sparring with the other two.

 

She wanted to visit Dorian.

 

When she passed the rotunda, Solas wasn't there, he use to be there but not always maybe he went to his room. She went upstairs where Dorian was sitting in his elegant chair deeply immersed in his lecture, he looked perfect like if nothing happened last night or this morning.

 

She kicked his boot.

 

-Hey sleeping beauty....- She said grinning and sat on the floor right in front of Dorian, he smiled and left his open book resting on his lap.

 

-By the way you know Alexius is here? spoke with him like twenty minutes ago.- Dorian said raising a bow.

 

-Yes I know, we talked this afternoon about his reports, interesting man indeed.- She said opening a random book from the pile which casually was about Tevinter and the magisters.

 

Dorian took the book from his lap trying to continue where he left, but he closed the book, Dorian narrows his eyes looking down at her.

 

-You know Alexius looked …. like you know... happy?, do you know why?.- He tentatively asked twirling his mustache with two fingers.

 

-And? The man is happy, probably because he is doing something he likes, and maybe... maybe his life is less empty, I don't know Dorian.- She said looking up at him.

 

He narrowed even more and his eyes were a fine line.

 

-What?.- She shrugs.

 

-You did something to him, did you.. oh Maker tell me you two haven't had sex!!!.- Dorian said with his hands on his pretty head.

 

-WHAT!!?? Maker no Dorian, what are you talking about!!.- She exclaimed with indignation with her hands in the air breaking the silence in the circular library.

 

-I know you like older men!.- He accused pointing his index finger at her.

 

\- But not that old! Andraste's tits calm down Dorian, listen I just brought food for him and .. and we talked and I was kind with him, maybe the man just needed some company.- She explained the best she could.

Dorian look at her his lips twisted trying to decide if that was the truth, his hands resting on his knees.

 

-I hope that is true, because that, it's the last thing he needs right now.- He crossed his arms.

 

-You know, now you gave me ideas, maybe **that** is what he needs...- She said rising her eyebrows.

 

-You're terrible!! he is broken man, who lost his wife.. his son...that's so sad.......... Maker.- He began to laugh with his hands over his face, he tried to restrain his laughter, but was useless.

 

-And now I'm even worst than you because you made me laugh with this, I can literally feel how I'm turning literally into ashes for this.... the man needs some pleasurable distraction as well...- Dorian said no longer hiding his laughter, she joined him, at this point all the library was aware of these two.

 

When the laughter finally subsided, she asked.

 

-Hey Dorian, do you know something to ease the lyrium withdrawal? It's for Cullen, you know..... we must help him.-

 

-Is he in pain isn't it? Umm.- Dorian rubs his chin.

 

-Has his moments... umm last time I saw him was shirtless, peacefully asleep and with messy hair, he looked .. healthy? I'm not a healer.- She said, there is a sparkle in Dorian's eyes, he suddenly closed his eyes, laced his fingers together, inhales and exhales through the nose loud enough to be heard by her.

 

-Wait here do not move, I'll be here in no time, the poor man is suffering, we must go now.- “Horny bastard”, she thinks smiling to herself, nothing like money and attractive men to make things happen.

 

A little after he is back, holding a leather bag under his arm, the woman stood.

 

-Let's go to see how our commander is doing, the reinforcements are coming!.-She said and in no time she knocked Cullen's door with Dorian by her side.

 

They heard someone moving inside and soon Cullen opened the door, and there he was, with no shirt in all his Cullenglory with a sleepy smile, messy hair... the inquisitor can feel how Dorian squeezes her arm.

 

“I can feel your nails” She said between her teeth.

 

-How are you doing Cullen?.- She asked crossing the door frame followed close by Dorian.

 

-Slept really well after the massage you gave me, I just woke up a while ago with a increasing headache, my wrists hurt but it will subside Inquisitor, don't worry.-

 

He sat heavily on the edge of his bed, with a hand rubbing his aching neck.

 

-That's why I'm here! I can help with that.- Dorian finally spoke, opening his bag placing several bottles and items on the table, he sat on the arm chair.

 

The Inquisitor whispered in Dorian's ear.

 

“Don't play the naughty apostate and Templar tonight” Dorian can't help it but smiled at her words.

 

-Commander you couldn't be in better hands, I must leave now.- The commander looked a little disappointed, but soon he went beside Dorian to see what the mage was preparing for him, they began to speak and in silence she left the room.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He can't help it, it's something primal, everybody has that person that against all reason makes you crazy for good or for bad, that person you know you want, and for his conflicted mind is her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First smut in english, well I still remember the time were I roleplayed in english, but it's been a long time since last time... aahh.

 

 

The air was chill, and the night smelled like flowers and spices, was going to be a beautiful night, she knew that when she saw the clear and darkening sky already full of early stars, and the moon bigger than ever, the most fluffy clods, a handful of them sightly tinted by traces of pink and orange, was going to be a beautiful but cold night.

 

The people was setting the dinner on the long tables in the main hall where guest and inquisition ate dinner all together, she passes the hall going straight to her room to take her favorite blanket and a small pillow, was gift from Dorian who thought she needed more for her bed, it was boring he said, so he gave her one of his own, she can't understand how Dorian gathered so many cushions and pillows, the nobles houses of Thedas sent them gifts, might be that, Dorian is like one of those birds who likes to collect shinny things, she hopes Dorian doesn't want to add Solas' head to his collection.

 

With the pillow and the blanket under her arm, and a old bag made of scraps, each piece of cloth had a different color, the bag had the perfect size and rested on her left hip, she sneaked some food from the kitchen, bread, cheese, one apple and a bottle of white wine, this time only for her.

 

After giving and giving to everybody in Thedas, she wanted a moment of peace for herself, to be selfish for once. So she went to a quite place, that place where Hawke was waiting for her the first day they met.

 

She lighted a lantern, the glass protecting the flame from the soft nocturnal breeze, warped herself in the blanket like it was a bedroll and ate her food in silence not thinking of nothing at all just enjoying the night, the stars, the moon and the quietude of the moment for herself, the woman drank right from the bottle, half of the wine disappeared quickly, now she laid down on her back with the pillow under the head.

 

No worries, no problems, no love, nothing but the calming stupor she was in.

 

How much time passed? The alcohol in her veins was fading and the cold was more noticeable, the blanket wasn't enough now and her body began to shiver in time to time, wanting or not she will have to leave this place and return to her room, with the blanket on her shoulders like a cape and with all her belongings the woman made her way back to into the building, some of the guards recognized her and immediately saluted her, the thick walls kept the building cozy, the rotunda was empty, Solas went to sleep, and the hall was practically empty except for some people who was around the fire where Varric use to be, the dwarf wasn't there, obviously all of them went to the tavern.

 

Her chambers were way too big for her liking she preferred something smaller, more practical, this was an extravagance and a waste, she only had a room before and it was when she lived in her farm back then, it was a simple room, wooden walls wooden floor, an small window, an small bed and a little nightstand with drawers, the lamp and a few belongings like her bow and quiver and a wooden chest that was where she kept her clothes and some other things.

 

Her family's house would fit in this room easily even with the latrine! What a waste of space only for one person, it's even offensive when out there there is so much people living in a simple tent like pickles in a jar.

 

Thankfully she spent more time traveling than here.

 

When she entered in the large stance it was dark except for the fireplace and a candle on the nightstand, the room was warm, the servants cared more for her than she did for herself, they even closed the large windows.

 

She saw someone standing in front her bed, looking at her, it was definitely Solas.

 

There he was, holding his own hands, she approaches Solas.

 

-Solas?... what are you doing here?.- She asked after throwing her blanket on the couch, she left the bottle on the nightstand.

 

-I was concerned you said.... I was waiting you for dinner, but you never came and I supposed....- Solas stumbled with his own words, this clumsiness was improper of him and was a surprise.

-I supposed you were upset with me, I wanted to apologize but I couldn't find you inside the keep.-

Solas tries to catch her attention, her eyes, he wants her to look at him, but instead she look at the bottle as he talks.

 

-That's why I was outside.. you don't have to apologize, it's me who should apologize, the thing is … I don't want to ruin our friendship, and I don't want to push you to do something you don't want to do, I'm going to stop before it gets …. weirder, you and me? What I was thinking?.- She chuckled and finally looked at him.

 

“No no no... or maybe that's the best? Look how beautiful she looks today, and you haven't say nothing, a friendship would be more desirable than this, I can't.. my mind and body do not respond properly”Solas tries to rationalize his feelings while metaphorically she is farther and farther.

 

-You look beautiful today.- He said trying to make her smile at least.

 

And she briefly smiled.

 

-Really? Thank you Solas, nobody said nothing.- She touches her hair a bit nervous.

 

-I'm afraid more people noticed even if they said nothing, your beauty can't be ignored... when I'm around you, I barely control my body, you have a strange effect in me.- He stepped closer holding her hands.

 

-Ooh... I see, about what I told you before, you have nothing to say?.- She let go his hands and stepped closer, so close their bodies are inches away from each other, her hands now on his chest, she can feel his heartbeat his unsteady breaths, this is her effect on him, his hands find her face holding her caressing the face with his thumbs.

 

-I... I.- He licked his lips.

-You're not forcing me to do something I don't want.. I ...I want you, I need you.- His eyes focused on hers and her lips, he kisses her, suddenly and slowly leading her to the bed that was right behind him.

 

He was on top of her her legs around him, when she began to undress him, as Solas began to do with her, half in the way with her red shirt completely open, the elf took a few seconds to observe her generous bust, so soft it looked and big, he was used to other things, this human was exuberant and aroused him like anything before, so carnal and tempting, he wanted to bury his face between them, and he did it, sighing with pure bliss.

 

She chuckled.

 

-Aah men...are you comfortable there? You can leave your room and stay between them.-

 

-I wish I could....- He said and licked between them, leaving a trail of kisses until he found her mouth again, full and passionate kisses were their tongues found each other eagerly while in a chaotic way they tried to undress each other, Solas almost strangled himself with that necklace of his, but it's understandable when more than half of his blood was far away from his head, the one between his shoulders.

Two naked bodies, tangled in each other, her hand caressing him down there, Solas moans every time she strokes him, and it was the most erotic sound she ever heard, he was so undone, it was fascinating and exciting for her seeing him like this.

 

She noticed the few curls down there, but Solas was almost hairless, she stopped and wrapped her arms around his neck, Solas just made a face of discomfort frowning, feeling the absence of her hand.

 

-It's been a long time since last time.... - She said caressing his chest, his eyes on hers always, his hand went down between her legs, she was more than ready, really wet for him and that drove him mad with lust aggressively kissing her nibbling her bottom lip.

-Same..- He murmurs as he could, when her legs hug him, pulling Solas even closer, it was a invitation.

 

-What are you waiting for?.- She asks, he knows if he continues in his actual state he wont last long as she deserves, but he can't help it, and in a single move he was deep inside her, from here all were moans and heavy breathing, they both lost in each others body, connected as one.

And it was glorious, she moans his name, and that's his fuel all he needs to hear, her hips mirroring his thrusts, the perfect rhythm, so perfect she was about to come, he can feel it around him, her body tensed few seconds when her hands reached out to squeeze his butt as she came saying his name, she felt electricity, from him, maybe it was because his magic.

 

Feeling her like this was what sent him right to the edge of his pleasure, he can't control his mind, the magic electrified his body sightly as Solas came a few seconds later claiming her mouth as he did.

 

After some time they went under the thick blankets and rested in each others arms.

 

Her head resting on his shoulder, caressing his chest with her fingertips he kisses her forehead with affection.

 

He needed this, but when the calm and the silence came, he felt a sting of concern for himself, this woman will be the death his. Because he loses his sanity in the precise moment she touches him.

 

-Solas, are you going to stay tonight?.-She asks absently, she moves her hand over his torso, caressing his soft skin.

 

-Only if you want...- Solas said, resting on his side, facing her, the woman gets closer, her head under his chin and her arm around him, she caress his back slowly.

 

-Do you have tickles here?.- And before he could answers, the tip of her tongue licks his nipple playfully a few times.

 

Solas jumps surprised .

 

-Wait woman! Is a very sensitive area for me...- He said surprised but amused at the same time, his hand over hard now nipple, he was sitting on the bed with his back resting on the headboard.

She chuckled.

 

-Well.... we can find more tickles.... - She leaned over him, licking his ear from the pointy end to the ear lobe, she can hear Solas sighing, as she traces his jab line and the sharp chin, his thin and delicate neck, this time she kissed the curve of his neck, his throat, his collarbone, she wants to kiss and lick every part of him, and he wants to be savored by her, it was so sensual, Solas' cheeks were crimson red and certain part of him was hardening again demanding more attention.

 

-Hello left nipple, do you want to play?.-She said brushing her lips against that bit of hard skin, she played with it and sucked on him gently, what a sensation for Solas, he threw his head back, moaning, it feel so good so intense, so pleasant.

 

Her tongue followed her way, licking and kissing his abdomen until she was facing, the other Solas.

 

-Hello little Solas....- Solas rises a bow. -I mean, no so little, I see you two share the same opinion about bald heads..- She chuckled before wrap her fingers around his base.

 

Solas can't help it but chuckle while biting his bottom lip with more force than necessary, seeing her like this, with her head between his legs was amazing, also he doesn't know why, finds arousing when she talks to his body.

 

-Are you going to interrogate every part of my body??- Solas said with a playful smile taking a handful of her abundant hair, he spreads his legs and gets comfortable looking down at her licking his lips.

 

-Next time I'm going to interrogate your butt.- She chuckled and went to tease him, biting softly his inner thigh, every time getting closer and closer, Solas curls his toes when he finally sees himself disappear inside of her warm and went mouth, she focused her tongue on the head, following the motion with her and sucking in time to time, he knows what she is doing, she can push him to the edge too quickly, she is doing it faster and faster and the only thing he can do is, pant, moan, trying to resist the urge of moving his hips to be deeper inside her.

 

-Wait ..wait not yet not yet... damn you woman, come here.- He said taking her hand making her stop, to sit on top of him, quickly he was inside of her again wasting no time, her arms around his neck, she was kissing him passionately on the neck, lips, nose, any part available of his skin, his hands took a firm grip of her butt and began to move his hips, she joined him, and when she did his arms went around her waist pulling her closer and like this they went on, and they finished in each others arms, spent tired and sleepy, the lovers just fell asleep as well in each others arms, with her head on his chest, and his lips caressing the top of her head, it was a mess a sweet mess.

 

 

Solas was so exhausted, he only slept, no fade, he just allowed himself to relax completely this time, by the time he was awake the sky was beginning to turn pink, the sun was rising, he looked down there she is, the woman that makes him crazy, between his arms, peacefully sleep, so beautiful he thought, he brushed her hair with his fingers slowly, her hair silky hair, so dark it was like a night without stars, like the rest of her hair, but under the sun, her hair had strands of copper, “this is a mistake, and I deserve everything bad that happens to me, we're not supposed to be together and yet I can't live without you now, forgive me for what I'm going to do” He murmurs so low he can barely hear his own voice, when she moved between his arms, feeling the soft light touching her eyelids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it xD I hope it has some sense, at least in spanish had sense! anyway enjoy as always.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids are here!, joy and drama all mingled together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy if you can as always any comment is welcome :)

She opened her eyes, and Solas was looking at her.

 

-Mmmm good morning Solas...you're staring at me?.- She asks before kissing him tenderly on the lips and nose, he shyly smiles with the sudden realization of his tremendous mistake.

 

-What is going on Solas?, you look sad, do you regret what happened?, because I can ask the “little Solas” but I thought he was agree with me.- She said caressing his face with her thumb, nothing but love in her eyes, however Solas looked concerned and that really scared her in the inside.

 

-I'm fine, is just.....we cannot linger here much longer, people will talk... and you have a long day ahead.- He forced himself to smile, a smile that didn't reach his eyes, she sees that, but said nothing.

 

-Let them talk, I don't care.- She spat quickly, she sat on the bed, covering her naked body with the blanket.

 

-No, I.. want to keep this between you and me only, do you understand?.- He jumps out the bed, collecting his clothes, getting dressed again.

 

-If that makes you happy, but for now I will allow it.- She said crossing her arms on her chest, she is not a dirty secret to be keep locked away, she thought. She saw his jaw necklace under the pillow, she decided to wear it.

 

Solas was upset he couldn't find his necklace, looked under the bed.

 

-Are you looking for this?.- She playfully touched the necklace, her messy hair over her shoulders, smiling.

 

Solas went to take it, but she moved away.

 

-Please give it to me...- He said like he was tired, he tried to take it again but she moved away once again.

 

Solas let out a displeased noise, this time with the hands on his hips.

 

-Please don't make this more difficult.- He said tilting his head.

 

She arched her eyebrows with surprise... “difficult he says” she repeats in her head.

 

-If you want it back, you must pay me with a kiss, or is that a sacrifice for you?.-She asked a bit upset by his behavior, in the daylight, in the morning after a shared night, all seems to be clear for her, she knew it, deep inside she knew it why Solas is going to be different?, he is a man like any other, is just, “not her Solas please”she thinks.

 

He leaned down and kissed her on the lips, took his necklace back and that was all.

 

She said “I love you Solas” when he kissed her, he just smiled and left.

 

Solas left her room heartbroken, he cannot tell her why or who he is, or why this war started, all because of him, all because his orb, but oh how he wanted to tell her “I love you too” because he knew it in the moment she was wearing his necklace, so beautiful and playful, so tempting.

 

She is not going to suffer for him, she doesn't deserve that. Somehow he tried to convince himself that he must let her go, he must push her away slowly, if she doesn't kick him first.

 

Slowly she left the bed, washed herself the best she could with hot water and soap, also her long hair, this take longer, sometimes she thinks he should reduce the length of her hair, for practical reasons, even knowing it grows again, it's something she don't want to do, not yet.

 

Her moist hair in a braid as always, another shirt, this one was blue, tucked in her pants like the last day, she tried to ignore her feelings, today is going to be a great day, “now you have to believe it”, she murmured looking at herself in the mirror.

 

Wearing an apron she entered in the kitchen when nobody was there, but the ingredients were already here, no time to waste, a busy mind is better than thinking about personal problems, she started with the cookies by herself, later the cookers came to help her and together baked and prepared an impressive amount of cookies and other sweets for the kids.

 

She haven't been outside, now she went and the courtyard was decorated with paper garlands that looked like flowers a very very thin paper of different colors. The main hall will be open but all the doors closed, would be a nightmare if some of the kids gets lost in the immense keep, also the tavern will be forbidden for the children.

 

The initiative seemed to make people happy, every body preparing things, tables, two barrels with wooden swords and shields, these arrived when she was baking things, many of them were made by the recruits, Blackwall helped too, well he supervised them, master Dennet prepared a horse, the most gentle and big mare of our stable, the little ones will love it.

 

For her surprise there was Cullen full dressed in his armor, he left his lion helmet on a table, and was helping with the cookies, by the crumbs on his fur he ate some of them.

 

-Hey Commander, you finally join us? Good, kids will love your armor.- She said smiling at him.

 

-Kids like it, because the fur and and the lion helmet, we are going to play with swords and shields, I'm eager... honestly, this makes me happy, and the cookies too.- He said placing plates with cookies on the table.

 

He looks good, it seems Dorian did something right last night, she'll ask later.

 

-Hey Boss, help me with this.- Bull handed her large string with paper flowers, he sat on the stairs.

 

-Help me to wrap this around my horns, I want to look pretty.-He said smiling, and she did it, he looked amazing.

 

-The prettiest flower of my garden!.- She said out loud.

 

-Excuse me but if someone is the prettiest flower, it's me.- Dorian said, he already has a paper crown on his head.

-I don't know if I like kids.. all these sticky hands ...eeeeeeewwwwww.- Dorian said comically making a face of disgust.

 

-Dorian, don't worry I'll rescue you like the little princess you are.- Bull said laughing.

 

Dorian rolled his eyes.

 

-A princess? Oh no if I'm something, I would be the queen, and you my elegant horse.- Dorian smiles playfully.

 

-Now my dear, is your turn, let me do your hair, yes? I want to make the biggest crown for you!.-She can swear she saw Dorian sparkle, his eyes were sparkling, something inside him has awoken maybe his sense of fashion was taking over him stronger than ever, style.. style the wind whispers.

 

Dorian made a beautiful crown with lots of paper flowers, and braided again her hair using a string with more paper flowers.

 

-Here she is, finally my masterpiece, look at yourself, look. At . You . Like a fairy from a tale!.- Dorian said clapping, so happy.

 

-Wow Boss...- Bull said resting his head on his hands, he smiled.

 

-Good good, I feel so pretty and feminine and well, makes me forget I kill people often..- She carefully touched her crown and braid, she blushed, like teenager, when she noticed something disturbing, it was Josephine, she was... she was decorating Cole, and Cole of course does nothing, he kept his hat on, but she wrapped him with paper garlands, being more human had good things and bad things and now he can't make her forget, Cole has no escape.

 

She went with Cullen who was distracted eating more cookies, she wonders if the commander left some cookies for the children.

 

-Cullen, have you see that?.- She takes his arm and points to Josephine. -You know about possessions, right?.

 

-Eeh yes I was a Templar you know that Inquisitor, are we talking about Cole or something?- He asked confused.

-Look at Josephine, it's like something took over her, and is like shinning .. it's so scary, is she possessed? should we slain her?.- She asked.

 

Cullen gasped.

 

-Oh no, Maker preserve me, soon she will be done with Cole, and will go for me, she loves to tease me.. what should I do?.-

 

He asked, nervous, it's curious how the commander was more relaxed talking to her with freedom besides the rank. Seems like that massage and that intimate talk they had relaxed him, giving Cullen some confidence.

 

-Go my child, go find Dorian, he will make you a crown and will protect you, if you already have one, she will ignore you, now, go!.- Cullen took a couple of cookies and went running like a little child to the stairs where Dorian and Bull are sitting together talking.

 

Even Leliana was doing things for the kids, she looked happy and younger, the Inquisitor was happy for her, Varric was ready to tell some amazing stories, everybody is working together, Solas isn't here, she hopes, he will join the party later, she hopes and hopes.

 

A solitary man observes from the fortifications followed by his guard, she took a couple of crowns, some cookies and went up there.

 

-Aaaah there is no party without flowers and cookies!.- She placed one crown on the guard's helmet, the man smiled, she placed the plate on the stone.

-I'm the Inquisitor I can do whatever I want with my prisoners, so here is another crown for you Alexius, share the cookies!.-

 

Alexius bowed his head so she can easily place the paper crown on his head, he chuckled.

 

-I don't know if I'll survive this humiliation my lady Inquisitor, you look beautiful by the way.- He politely said.

 

-I know, Corypheus tells me all the time.- She winked and the mage smiled. -Are you going to join us?.-She finally ask.

 

-I don't think is a good idea.. the other mages...- She interrupts him.

 

-I know, don't worry...stay here then.- The woman rested her arm around his waist, Alexius was a surprised but accepted it, after all she wasn't an ordinary woman.

 

-Look at them, look at these idiots down there, these are my idiots and I love them so much.- She sighed, smiling, contemplating the mighty Inquisition.

 

-You're a strange woman Inquisitor....you fight, you love, you make people happy... I want to help you Inquisitor... I've been thinking..-

 

She dismissed the guard who went down with the others, she wanted some privacy.

 

-I know I'm a strange woman, thank you, tell me Alexius, what you want to do?.- She asked looking at him.

 

He offered his arm and she took it, and they walked a little.

 

-I want to study the effects of red Lyrium on people, how it works, how to reverse the effects, I want .. I want to help the infected.- He stopped walking .

 

-You're a good man Alexius, Dagna will be delighted, she also started with investigations of her own about red lyrium, you can join her tomorrow she will gladly help you, she is doing too many things at the same time, you will continue where she left if you don't mind, I'll talk to her myself.-

 

-I'm I? A good man.. maybe I was that in the past, you saw what I did in the future.... - The man rested his back on the stone, his hands over his face, he cried in front of her, her enemy, once he wanted to kill her and now, now no longer matters, the hole in his chest is consuming him.

 

He finally collapsed.

 

-And for what? For nothing, my wife is dead, my son is dead, that is what I accomplished, absolutely nothing, all the bad things I did, all, for nothing, corrupted myself, destroyed all I believed for, for nothing at all.- His back slowly slides down and sat on the stone, his hands over his face, he sobs like a little child, he doesn't care, she sat beside him and took his hand, she laced her fingers with his.

 

-Do you think I'm better than you are? If I were in your place, I would have done even worse things to this world, I'm the Inquisitor, I judge people, but I don't have the moral right to do it, with all the people I kill? I'm something that shouldn't had happened an accident nothing less, but I'm here, and I'll try to do the best with all I have maybe is, because I like to fix broken things, everybody deserves a second chance, because we all make mistakes, I make lots of mistakes, let's see what the future generations think about me.-

 

She wrapped her free arm around his shoulders pulling him closer, she kissed him on the cheek tenderly a couple of times.

 

-Cry all you need sir, let it out, you'll feel much better, I'll feel better too, I'll take care of you.- She said like a mother would say, or she simply wanted to comfort the man, seeing an adult man crying like this was her weakness, how desperate and sad must be someone like him to cry like this? That broke her heart, nobody in this world should cry alone.

 

Despite all he did she understood, he was only a man after all.

 

He kept her very close, his free hand over his face, the sobs disappeared soon, Alexius squeezes her hand lightly, how much he needed this? He haven't cried in ages, this clingy woman touches everybody all the time, touches him as well, and who would say that? He liked it he enjoyed it and it helped a lot, maybe that's why she does it, maybe she knows people needs physical affection in time to time, he thinks while his head leans on her shoulder.

 

-Better?.-She whispers in his ear as she rubs his back, Alexius clears his throat, he simply nods, the inquisitor helps him to stand, she holds his hands, his head is low.

 

-We don't have to talk about this again, this is only between you and me, I must leave, my idiots need me, enjoy the cookies.- She lightly squeezes his arm and turn around to leave.

 

-I will my lady.- The man says not looking at her, now he was a little ashamed of his own behavior , he never looked so vulnerable, never in front of others. But at the same time it feels like he got rid of some weight, he took the crown from his head and caressed the paper petals.

 

She was back in the courtyard, and the guard was sent back to Alexius.

 

The bell was calling, the kids will cross the gate in no time.

 

Meanwhile Cole is smiling, like an idiot. He is a flower he says, he likes garlands and now he is a flower.

 

-I am Cole but I'm flower, I'm both!.- He says waving his arms and moving the paper flowers.

 

And there was Blackwall, poor man, he couldn't escape from Josephine and ended with his mustache, beard, hair, braided with a flower crown too, the man was sitting on a stool, and I can't say he was angry or sad, he was just resigned maybe? Holding a hand mirror.

 

-I'm so fucking pretty right now...Makers balls- He said while the inquisitor had to sit on the ground because she was laughing so hard her knees gave up.

 

Even Cassandra! She was wearing a crown, but with a face of disgust.

 

-Cassandra, take a wooden sword, you will be a princess warrior!!!.- The inquisitor hands her a wooden toy and Cassandra smiles a bit.

 

Where is Solas?, where is that grumpy old man, well he looked young, you never know with elfs, but sometimes he acts like an old man. She wonders waiting for the kids, sitting on the stairs, playing with her braid.

 

“Are we together in a relationship?, all between them was so.. so undetermined, should I ignore him before I hate him in order to save tour friendship?”, she has a lot of questions.

 

The youngest kid was six years old the oldest fifteen, more than thirty children most of them orphans, running around munching cookies, playing with the swords, Cullen was delighted, what a good man he is, Iron Bull, with two small kids on his shoulders, the little one had a firm grip on his large horns so they wont fall, the were laughing, that was a spectacle, the inquisitor can't tell who is happier if Bull of the children. They were surprised, none of the had seen a qunari before but soon the curiosity won and they were playing together.

 

Dorian and Josephine were braiding, decorating with flowers, look at him, the one who was concerned about the kids has a little girl sitting on his lap, and let her touch his hair and mustache, Dorian was having a great time.

 

The mages created an entertaining spectacle with various tricks, one of them consisted in electrify their own hair, the children were delighted and soon they were asking to be the next, a whole generation will grow up thinking mages are friendly and amazing, and the inquisitor was very happy about that.

 

Varric telling stories, surrounded by tiny kids listening with attention to every word he said, and later Leliana played the lute for them.

 

A group of soldiers decided to make an humoristic show juggling empty bottles, and doing pirouettes.

 

While the Inquisitor played mom and dad, with the youngest girls and boys, well they needed someone to play the dad, but they were having a great time anyway.

 

She sees someone in the corner of her eye, it was Solas, he finally joined them, he was wearing a flower crown and was smiling looking around.

 

-It seems everybody is having a good time isn't?, even in uncertain moments like this you find a day to make everybody happy, tomorrow all this will be a dream.- Solas said resting his hands on his back and stepped beside her.

-At least they will forget the war and Corypheus for one day.- She said drinking imaginary tea.

 

-Can we speak? .. in a more private place.- He sightly touches her forearm.

 

-Not now Solas, I'm playing with the children, later, play with us or leave but please not now.- Her tone changed from sweet for the little ones to serious and dry for Solas.

 

Solas felt her discomfort and that hurts him, the way he left this morning... he understands.

 

-Please play with us sir, someone has to be the dad!.- A little girl said, she was a elf about six years old, big copper eyes that perfectly matched her hair, two braids with flowers the inquisitor herself made them, she was so tiny but talked like a grown person.

 

She hugged Solas' leg.

 

-My daddy had hair, but you can play with us, yes?.- She said looking up to him, Solas at first was serious and looked at the inquisitor, but later smiled a bit nervous but agreed to play.

 

Solas looks a little awkward with the little girl in his arms, as the time passes he looked more relaxed, but things turned quickly awkward for him again when the Inquisitor yelled.

 

-Oh Solas you got me pregnant!!! look at my belly! It can't be a bad digestion..- The little ones were giggling but Solas turned white like the milk looking at her fake belly made with a small pillow under her shirt.

 

She smiles, she is enjoying this way too much but she thinks Solas deserves it.

 

Suddenly someone is roaring running around like a bear, it's Blackwall he was “scaring” the kids, Josephine is looking at him smiling.

 

-Solas, play with them, I have something to do....- She says and leaves him behind, he was about to say something but she simply left.

 

The Inquisitor is right beside her.

 

-Isn't lovely? Blackwall loves kids and kids love him, Josephine, I wan to tell you something.-

 

-What is it Inquisitor?.- Her head leaned closer lightly, the kids were noisy as the adults were today.

 

-The other day, I don't remember the exact day, Blackwall was chopping some wood, shirtless, I encourage you to casually.... observe him any morning, there is a high chance he is bare chested, strong arms, strong chest.... it's a nice spectacle to see indeed.. I just leave it there.- Josephine widen her eyes, and giggles simultaneously.

With a hand over her lips she smiled wider.

 

-Inquisitor! That would be very inappropriate, I must try it...- She said, eyeing Blackwall in way the inquisitor never saw before, then she looked at the fake big belly the Inquisitor was “wearing”

 

-Oh this, it's nothing, Solas got me pregnant.- She simply said Josie just smiled again.

The inquisitor walks away with a smile on her lips, mentally rubbing her hands, maybe she can't be happy but she can try to bring happiness to the people around her, someone grabbing her arm interrupted her thoughts.

 

-Dorian what is it?.- She asked concerned by the look in Dorian's face.

He looked worried.

-I .. I think I like kids...- He said with a low tone into her ear.

 

-And that's bad?.- She asked with a puzzled look.

 

-No.. yes.. I mean.. I want to have a children, I ran away from that life, but now I'm questioning myself if marrying the girl won't be so bad if I can have children of my own.- Dorain has sorrow in his eyes and a that characteristic shine in them when tears want to fall, she knew this was something serious.

 

-Dorian... come here you my little one.- She said and hugged him very hard, he wont complain at all, he needed that, he isn't used to hug or touch people like she do, but she did it so often with him that became something natural and needed, because Maker knows it despite everything Dorian needs love too.

 

Dorian still holding her, when the inquisitor suddenly steps away, Dorian does not approve the end of the hug.

 

She keeps her hands on his shoulders.

 

-You know what? I can't have them either... would be a disaster for the Inquisition, but if I have any, you will be their uncle, like family.... or we can get very very drunk and you can get me pregnant somehow hahahaha....oh! wait you can adopt you know there are orphan babies that need a father, a family, you know the war left a lot orphans you know it, look around... anyway Dorian whatever you want to do, you'll have my support.-

 

Dorian has a sad smile on his face.

 

-It doesn't matter how sad I am, you say these silly things and you make my day brighter and my problems smaller.- He hugs her tightly and she can barely breathe, but it doesn't matter, despite the hug ended moments later Dorian remained with her for the rest of the time with the children.

 

Solas had the brilliant idea of painting with the children over a wooden plank, he ended with blue paint on his face and head, but the child were enjoying it so it was worth the mess after all, Dorian went to grab some drinks, lemonade, not his favorite drink but it was refreshing.

 

One of the small kid stumbled with something and fell on the ground, crying loudly with his bruised hands and knees, he asked for his mom, but his mom wasn't here, his mom and dad were with the maker.

 

The inquisitor saw the scene and quickly went to pick up the little one, the kid was around seven years old maybe, curly dark hair, with dark brown eyes and long eyelashes, she wiped the tears from his rosy cheeks and took him away holding his hand.

 

She sat away from the people and the kid just sat on her lap and snuggled with her, he still sobs but the crying is stopping.

 

-There there little one, don't worry I have good friends and they will heal that tiny would you have there on your knee, you're very brave, yes you are, we love you, you know it? We love you a lot.- She said with her sweetest tone, brushing his curls with her fingers slowly, the kid began to do the same with her braid, she smelled something, then smoke?

 

He braid was on fire! The kid had magic! She quickly left the kid on the ground, the flames spread quickly because the paper flowers braided in her dark hair, she tried to suffocate the fire with her hand but that wasn't enough, she found a barrel filled with water and dipped the total length of her braid in there, the kid was more scared than she was.

 

Smells weird, and there is some smoke, with all the noise nobody noticed, maybe the smell of burnt hair.

 

-It's okay see? I'm fine little one, nothing that hadn't happened to me before.- And it was true, she said to calm the poor kid who was hugging his knees looking up at her very afraid and surprised.

 

Maybe it happened because all the stress the kid went through lately, maybe that was what lighted his magic.

 

She took the kid in her arms, yes she knew it could happen again but she need someone, and there was Dorian looking for her with lemonade for her.

 

-Dorian come here right now! I need your help with this little one.- Dorian approaches her with quick steps, the moment he saw her burnt braid and the frightened look in the kid's eyes he knew what was going on.

 

-Give it to me, you and me little one, we are going to have a little talk and you shouldn't be afraid no more.- Dorian said taking the kid himself from her arms.

 

-Hey Dorian don't run away with the kid …. this could be a good practice for you.- She said checking her braid, it wasn't that bad the paper flowers took the worst part, mostly.

 

-Don't tempt me you demon!... don't worry about your hair, that's nothing I can't handle.- Dorian winked and walked away cradling the kid in his arms, talking to him.

 

 

She decided to undo her braid for the rest of the day, it was less noticeable the little disaster of her hair.

 

Solas was happy with himself the kids were actually painting things as he intended in the beginning instead of painting on him.

 

Where was she? He looked around but there was too many people and children all of them are moving and making noise, then he saw something that will torment him for the rest of his life, from nowhere and nobody knows how or why, Bull is wearing butterfly wings of vivid colors, made with some thin paper and thin wire, he was “running” how someone so big could move like a delicate fairy? Followed by bunch of children jumping around him.

 

She spent the rest of the time in a discrete place, looking over them, laughing because even the strongest and serious warrior like Cassandra turn out to be the sweetest woman with children, or how the Commander is like the rest of the child, eating cookies and playing with swords, how every body wanted to make the little ones happy, but soon it ended and when the kids left, except for one, the one with magic, they were all tired and happy, most of them fell asleep in the way to the refuge camps, even the chantry sisters helped.

 

Everybody was helping to clean all the mess, the mages were very happy, Iron Bull asking when will be a next time, everybody is very happy, Maker bless them she thinks, they deserve it, she wished all the days were like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you finished the whole thing, I love you, as always if there is something you don't understand please tell me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the party with the children Solas finds a moment to speak with her finally, she paints, and tells stories about her childhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy! as always if there is something you don't understand please tell me and I'll be glad to help you.

 

Everybody returned to their routine, that included the Inquisitor and Cassandra who needed to finish Cullen's work because reports are always coming, it's a non stop.

 

Cullen returned to his room to enjoy the rest of his day off, with lots of cookies hidden of course.

 

Cassandra decided to wear the flower crown for the rest of the day, she is feeling feminine and pretty and she is clearly enjoying it while they finish the reports and prepare letters to be sent.

 

The Inquisitor was exhausted, with a stack of letters in her hand she finds Josephine with Blackwall, she is helping him to undo all the braids. The Inquisitor smiles, as she passes the two, she left the letters on her desk and went to the garden, where a group of mages were cheerfully talking between them.

 

She sat on a bench with a book on her lap when that elf mage Sorriel saw her and quickly sat beside her.

 

-Inquisitor! we.. I never felt this loved before! Can we visit the the kids in the camps??.- He was so happy his big green eyes were full of light.

 

-I'm glad your people is happy, they deserve it, you must talk with Fiona, once you do, we can arrange something, don't look at me with those beautiful eyes of yours you're going to melt me.. hahahaha.- She said winking at him and he turned completely red, when he saw her huge book he couldn't help it but ask about it.

 

-Geography?.-He asked quickly to change the subject, his cheeks still red.

 

-That's it, it's entertaining and I like to learn about new places, it's useful to understand maps.-

She said opening the book were she left it last time.

 

-Where you from? If I'm allowed to ask.- Sorriel realized his question was probably a mistake, but she smiled, because nobody ask her for her past, maybe because she is the Inquisitor.

 

She turned the pages of the large tome until she found a spot between Antiva and the Free Marches, she pointed an empty spot.

 

-I think if I close my eyes I can find the way back home.... I don't know if still there, was a farm in the middle of nowhere, the closest village was almost half day away walking, I remember we traveled there to sell our products once a week.... my mother taught me to read, but we only had two books, one was about tales, and the other about crops and plants, we spoke something between Antivan and common, that's why speak weird sometimes...- She speaks with affection about her land, while Sorriel smiles delighted.

 

She felt suddenly terribly homesick but smiled anyway.

 

-I barely remember my house or my parents before the Templars took me to the Circle..-

 

He said looking at the book.

 

-Don't worry I'll never allow the chantry to make the same mistake again, and I'll blow it up if I must, you're not a monster, you're the most adorable creature in all Thedas, you must be free to make your own mistakes.- She gently lifted his chin, he smiles, he felt relief listening her words.

 

-Now, go with your friends.- Sorriel thanked her and went with his group.

 

She was looking down at her book, suddenly she curses.

 

-Andrasre's tits! Cole!.- She forgot Cole, and ran to the courtyard, while the chantry sister murmured prayers at her blasphemy.

 

Cole was where he was left sitting on a barrel, with a plate of cookies on his lap, simply smiling being a flower.

 

-Cole, the party is over, don't you see it?.- She leans down to see his face, she smiles.

 

-Really? All is so quiet now, is this when is over? ….. I'm no longer a flower?.-

 

How someone could kill people so merciless and be so innocent at the same time?.

 

She kisses Cole on the cheek.

 

-No you're no longer a flower, now you're Cole, let me help you to remove all these flowers.- Cole smiles rubbing his cheek.

 

-I like kisses, these are sweet like the cookies you bake, all these little ones were bright, they shined, with happiness, they are pure.- Cole said helping her with the garlands on his hat.

 

-All children are pure Cole, but they grow up, some do it better than others, ones are hurt others not, that... makes them to be the adult they will be...- She said while taking the last garland.

 

-Can I kiss you like you did?.- He simply ask, she offers her cheek to him.

 

And he press his lips like she did.

 

-I did it right then?.-

 

-Yes was perfect, always ask before you kiss, a kiss with consent is a good kiss, now go with Varric, he was looking for you when I saw him in the hall.-

 

-He loves you.- Cole said looking at the stairs.

 

-Who, Varric?- She was confused.

 

-No, Solas.- He simply said and added. -He is afraid.-

 

-Solas loves me? Yes, my ass.- She snorted with her hands on the hips.

 

-He loves that too.- Cole simply said.

 

-Afraid of what, me, spiders??.- She ran her fingers through her hair.

 

-He doesn't want to hurt you, he is afraid of hurting you.- Cole tries to help her.

 

-Well he is doing a poor job.. go Cole, Varric is waiting for you.- She said exasperated, and went to her quarters.

 

Someone knocked her door, it was a messenger with a note for her, it was from Dorian.

 

Was about the kid, he wanted to send the little one with the other mages in Skyhold, that would be the best because they travel very often and the kid needs constant supervision until he is able to control his own magic, it's reasonable, she ordered the messenger to wait and she wrote a quick answer for him.

 

“If you think is the best for the kid, so be it, whatever you do I trust you” She signed and folded the paper, the messenger took it and left.

 

She sat in front the mirror and examined her hair, she hopes Dorian could save most of it. She hangs the paper crown on the mirror, washes her hands and face, the cold water was really refreshing.

 

She was brushing her hair slowly, the hairbrush was a gift from a noble of Ferelden, decorated with dogs.. but it was beautiful, was a set it came with the hairbrush, comb and a hand mirror, the noble was thankful because they closed a breach in his lands.

 

She was drinking water when someone knocked the door, it seems like she can't have a moment of peace.

 

-Come in.- She simply said, it was Solas.

 

He went right behind her, she kept brushing her hair, she look at him in the mirror.

 

-Can we talk now?.- Solas hugged her slowly from behind, resting his hands on her belly and his chin on her shoulder, he kisses her neck, slowly caressing the sensitive skin of her neck with his lips, his eyes are closed, he was lost in her skin, in her scent.

 

The woman sighed, was so sweet and pleasurable. She opened her eyes.

 

-Solas, you wanted to talk? Then talk to me, or you only want me for sex... mmmm?. She turned her head to look at him, her words hit him right in the chest.

 

-I.. I like the way you smell, and today you smell like cookies, Dorian told me what happened with your hair, I'm sorry, you can always shave your head, it's practical and you can blind your enemies if it shines like mine.- That was the first time Solas tried to make her laugh, she was surprised he never did it before for her.

 

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

 

-Aaah no, you wear it better, how does look your hair?.-She asks caressing the top of his head.

 

Solas enjoys her touch and closes his eyes.

 

-It's straight about the same color of my eyebrows, I like it shaved, it's more practical, I can't spend so much time like Dorian does every morning, while I'm traveling... it's easier to keep it clean, because there is nothing to keep.- He chuckled, the woman began to brush that shaved head, Solas just melted, his chin on her shoulder.

 

-And you use magic to keep it always like this?.- Solas opens his eyes.

 

-Of course.- He simply said and sighed delighted.

 

-Are you going to drool all over my shoulder?, come I have a idea.- She took his hand and lead him to her bed.

 

-Take off your shirt, what if I caress your back with this?.- She point at the brush, Solas smiled wider he took his belt and shirt right away and went to the bed he laid on his belly exposing his back for her.

 

-Look at him isn't eager at all.- She sat beside Solas who had a huge smile on his lips.

 

From his head to the end of his back she caressed is body a couple of times.

 

-Do you like it?.- She asks.

 

-Ummmmmmf.-He turned his head a little.

 

-This is wonderful...- He said simply happy, she makes him forget his worries, Solas opens one eye to look at her, how slowly she caress his back, with dedication and affection, this touches his heart.

 

-You're talkative, sweet and playful, what happened Solas?.- She uses the tip of her fingers now, light caresses from his neck to the end of his back, her nails send soft tickles down his spine, every time she reach the end of his back, Solas lifts briefly his hips, he is enjoying this a lot.

 

-I.. don't know, maybe is because the children, they made me soft today...- He was talking when she caressed with her nails the end of his back once again.

 

-Maybe I should bring them more often, seeing you like this is delightful, are you wriggling your tail already?.- She asks with a naughty smile on her lips.

 

-Which one??.- He quickly said allowing himself to be naughty as well, the wolf is feeling playful today.

 

-Oh you have another, where?.- She quickly slides her hand under his pants and tickled his butt, he laughed out loud, she never heard him this loud before.

 

-Ah! I knew it! You have nothing here, you little liar, you deserve a punishment! I'm going to spank you yes, a couple of times!.- She pulled his pants down exposing his small clothes.

 

-No …..no! Wait.- Solas tried to protest but he was laughing so much every time she playfully spanked him the first and the second time, he was laughing in tears, heavily panting smiling, he turned around to look at her.

 

-I needed this.- He said when finally regained his breath, his hands on his chest and his legs spread on the bed, Solas has a huge smile on his face and rosy cheeks, he look at her.

 

-Come closer.- He said gesturing with his hand.

 

She lays beside him, with her head resting on his shoulder, he kisses her tenderly on the lips.

 

-Will you forgive me for my behavior this morning? It was inexcusable... I beg for your forgiveness.- He said lacing his fingers with hers, with his heart pounding in his chest.

 

-Cole said you were afraid, afraid of what?- She suddenly asked , this took him off guard.

 

-I've never been with human female before, I've never considered that an option until you told me about your feelings, you know how I feel about some humans.- He played with her fingers as he spoke, he tried to be honest.

 

-But you know me, it doesn't make a difference?.- She ask him, she was the one afraid now.

 

-That's why I'm here now, you're different and unique and a beautiful woman, you make me crazy, demons tempted me in the fade these are easy but you, you will be the death of me, like a bug who is attracted to the bright light of a fire.- He began to trace her lips with his own kissing her deeply.

 

When the kiss ended she spoke.

 

-I don't know if I like that description.... but I forgive you Solas, but never leave like that again, understood?.- She caress his face with her thumb.

 

-Never again, I promise.- He kisses her again, caressing her sides and belly.

 

-At least you're not pregnant, last night I used magic on you, that will protect you for three days.

 

-Mmmm wont be that bad, I would like to have a tiny baby with little pointy ears.- She said playing with her hair looking at him, the woman blushed a little, the thought of that made her warm inside.

 

-But that would be dangerous, you're in combat very often, you could miscarry the child, and that would be painful mentally and physically for you.- He tries to persuade her taking her hand.

 

-I know...- She simply said titling her head a bit, closing her eyes few seconds, later she looked down at him and tracing his nose and lips with her index finger.

 

-I haven't noticed before but your nipples are pale pink, they are cute.- Solas chuckled with the sudden change of subject.

 

-I want to do art with you, I want to paint something on your skin.- She went to her desk, Solas was concerned and curious, he sat on the bed, resting his back on the headboard.

 

She came back with a little metal box, and a very thin paintbrush.

 

-This is Kohl, Dorian gave it to me, is what we use to paint our eyes.- She sat beside him and opened the box.

 

He is fascinated with her, this human surprises him every day.

 

-What are you going to paint, where?. He said with a smile on his lips looking down at the box.

 

She was impregnating the thin paintbrush with the Kohl, with some water the black dust became a paste, it was easier to apply now.

 

-A flower, on your chest.- She traced a circle around his left nipple using it as the center of the flower, it tickles Solas who tries to stay quiet while she paints, she added the petals, the stem and two leafs.

 

-A flower over my heart.....- Solas sighed and kissed her passionately on the mouth holding her face with his hands, what she did was so romantic, it made him lightly dizzy when the kiss ended, their faces were inches away from each others nose, his eyes half closed.

 

The bell for the dinner was calling.

 

-We must go, I should speak with Cullen....- Solas heard her voice but wasn't listening, when she insisted, he let her go and finally Solas understood the words coming out that tempting lips.

 

When he was going to put on his clothes and belt, his eyes caught his reflection in the mirror, he saw the flower painted on his skin over his heart, and smiled briefly.

 

They quickly joined the rest in the dinning main hall, she sat beside Cullen, Solas was right in front of her.

 

All the companions and the advisors eating drinking and talking together, talking about the kids, the future, the food, everything, even Cole was there trying to eat a smashed sweet potato.

 

-So Boss you haven't told me exactly where you lived when you were a child.- Iron bull commented before taking a bite of bread soaked in broth from the stew he was eating.

 

-I can't tell you exactly where my farm was, because was in the middle of nowhere, with a group of farms, with groves and forests, but we had a small river, we use it to water our fields in time to time, sometimes we traded with the Dalish, the farms around did it as well, for leather, pelts, food, even weapons, my first bow was Dalish you know Bull? The Lavellan clan often crossed the fields in front my farm with their Aravels some bigger than others ..- She smiled at the good memories.

 

-It sounds like a idyllic life.- Blackwall said, he was sitting right beside Josephine.

 

-It was most of the time, I was happy we were poor but happy, when I was eight years old, I wanted a puppy for my birthday, we already had a horse, chickens and two cats, but I was an obstinate child I wanted a puppy, that year wasn't the best for our crops, we were extra poor hehe, so my father, the poor man, was tired to tell me over and over again why he couldn't buy a dog, one day he took the horse and left the farm, few hours later he returned with a sack, he told me inside was a puppy and said to me “dogs come in many shapes and sizes”.- She stopped to drink.

 

-And what happened?.- Varric asked curious leaning on the table, holding a goblet of wine.

 

All of them were listening.

 

 

-He climbed off his horse, and handed me the sack, it was light, I was so happy that must be a puppy it seems small I thought, so I opened the sack and when I take the “dog” I was puzzled, never in my short life back then have seen a dog like that, you know what it was?, a huge and white rat, with brown spots on the back, my father insisted it was a dog, and I believed him, because he was my father, I called him Bigotes, and I was so happy, for two weeks was then when the kids from the other farms told me what really my “dog” was, I walked Bigotes with a leash and called him by his name and he came, lived long for a rat, and slept with me in my room inside a cage, the only and the best dog I had.- She said.

 

All of them laughed.

 

-I should write down that story Herald, people would love to know the life of our Inquisitor.- Varric said between laughs, even Solas who seemed to be in a more positive mood today was laughing, his toes often touch her legs under the table, she smiles.

 

-Aaaah I love my father so much, I hope the Maker or whatever is out there is taking care of mother and father.- She said, suddenly a little sad, but she smiled anyway.

 

-They taught you to use the bow?.- Cassandra asked.

 

-My father did, he was a soldier once, we practiced every day, to defend ourselves he said, mother taught me to read, to cook and bake, father and mother grew up in a farm so they knew everything about crops, and they taught me that too, among other things.- The inquisitor was feeling a bit sad, and changed quickly the subject.

 

They all listened in silence when suddenly she spoke again.

 

-By the way Cullen, tomorrow I forbid you to enter in your tower, wait for me outside, I want to be there when you see your new room.- She said before take a sip of wine.

 

-I must admit, I'm eager to see it, but I still think is a waste of resources.- He said trying to peel an apple with a small knife.

 

-Oh! Common Curly you work like a mule, allow her to be concerned for once, mm?.- Varric said exasperated, Cullen rolled his eyes.

 

-Wait, is it true, your ceiling has a hole!.- Dorian said surprised.

 

-He even has his own personal tree in the room, by the way Dorian what happened with the kid?.- The inquisitor asked.

 

-Kenley is fine, is with the mages now, I will spend time with him tomorrow, he likes me, isn't adorable? Once you talk with him a little he tell you everything.- Dorian said delighted.

 

-Good, spend time with him, he needs someone now.- She agreed smiling, she was happy for Dorian, he needed that.

 

They talked for another hour, some of them went to sleep others went to the tavern, The inquisitor went to her chambers, some time later Solas joined, that night the two lovers made love to each other.

 

When the morning came she was in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say, things are going to change in the incoming chapters.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A common day, in our Inquisitor's life, what she does when she is not out there killing demons and collecting elf root.
> 
> Cullen gets what he deserves, and Bull treats her like a princess. xD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long, but was going to be even longer, soon will be another chapter because is almost finished.

 

This time she was awake first observing Solas while he sleeps peacefully, is he dreaming in the fade? She ask to herself, he wriggles his nose sometimes or he exhales through his mouth sightly prating his lips.

 

Her little egg, she loves him so much, he looks so cute like this, she caress carefully his face, shoulder and side.

 

-Wake up my love.- She kisses him.- Wake up Solas.- She kisses him again, he slowly moves, and opens his eyes to smile at her, Solas stretches his arms out of the blanket and kisses her fully on the lips pulling the human closer to snuggle with her.

 

 

-Good morning.....- He said followed by a yawn before kissing her nose.

 

-Dance lessons ….- She murmurs with her hands over her face.

 

-I swear I hate them, I'm terribly bad dancing, is like I'm useless for that... why you're smiling Solas?- She asks smiling.

 

-Your hair... is a mess, I love it.- He said tangling his fingers in her messy hair.

 

-That's your fault, you decided to pull it, you went wild last night, specially with certain posture I think you left a mark on my shoulder, if you want to keep our affairs in secret, well …....- Solas was biting his lip looking at her, caressing her sides.

 

-I can heal it don't worry.- His hands caress her hip, and she hugs him with her leg.-

 

-What about one quick? I can't have enough of you...- Solas was already lost in her touching her leg and butt, kissing her neck, licking it, moaning against her wet skin, she was feeling how hard he was against her body, the noises escaping from his lips made her wet.

 

His left hand devours her, like he wanted to cover her skin all at once, pressing and digging his fingers in her soft hip, then Solas took her leg under the knee and pulled her even closer.

 

The way they kiss each other is somehow aggressive and Solas growls excited with every kiss, she wants him, there is no turning back at this point.

 

With a quick move he was inside her, his breath was erratic with every thrust inside her welcoming sex, his right arm is under her neck and his left keeps her waist in place.

 

One in front the other never breaking the eye contact, was so erotic Solas had to stop a couple of times to just rest his forehead on hers, and she smiles, caressing his face with her right hand.

 

-Don't move... wait ….- He is in the edge most of the time, controlling his breath and his rhythm, begging her not to move her hips, but sometimes she did it just to sweetly torture him, to see his bottom lip tremble and a expression that resembled pain mixed with pure pleasure.

 

Solas was far to be in control right now, he tried to last long but she moved even if he wanted her to stop.

 

She wasn't moving just a little to tease, she was rocking her hips aggressively against his, sucking his bottom lip, kissing him, looking at him right in the eyes, Solas was lost in her and the only thing he could do is to take a firm grip of her butt and let her end what he started.

 

A feral growl escaped from his throat as he came deep inside her, he thought his heart was going to jump off his chest, breathless, she came a little bit later, moving slowly her hips and kissing tenderly his swollen but demanding lips.

 

The two stayed like this for long time, Solas still inside her, with her leg over his hip, looking at each other, lightly touching each others noses playfully and kissing.

 

-You're insatiable... I love that because as I told you before I can't get enough of you.- Solas caress her side slowly.

 

-Ummmm....- She happily said purring like a cat would do.

 

-Are you a cat now?.- Solas continues caressing her delighted.

 

-Yes, specially if you touch me, you make me purr Solas...- She said tracing the form of his pointy ear.

-Damn birds, the sun is barely out and they are already chirping... great now the smith is working.- She rolled her eyes, letting out a exasperated sigh she began to move to lay on her back with her hands on her chest.

 

Solas did the same but he rested his head on her shoulder, the elf has a huge smile on his face looking up at the ceiling.

 

-We must get ready, things to do.. things to do, my work never ends, I belong to the people!go before the people wake up right now this zone of the keep is empty I told them not wake me up, I can do that myself and they can only enter here if I'm not here, only the servants are allowed to enter while I'm here and they always knock my door, if you want to disappear it's your moment. - She said as she sat on the edge of the bed, Solas switched to rest on his side looking at her resting his head on his hand.

 

-I'm very proud of you, you switch so quickly, now you're The Inquisitor, yes you belong to the people, but at night you will belong to me.- He sat right beside her and kissed her on the cheek.

She smiled and pulled on an over sized shirt that could be used easily as nightgown.

 

-I think I'll take a bath later but... I like smelling like you do Solas.- Solas smiles, he covers with his hand the little bruise he left on her shoulder last night, a small light surrounded his hand and quickly the mark disappeared and it was like nothing happened before.

 

-I think we smell the same, I like it.- Solas smelled his own skin, later he did the same with the curve of her neck, it was true they shared the same scent and that was delightful for him.

 

-If someone ask tell them, I've been having trouble sleeping, and the mark in my hand needs your assistance, since I have the mark my dreams became more lucid which is true.- She simply said walking around the room helping Solas to get dressed, she placed a blanket on her couch, if someone sees this will think Solas slept here.

 

-More lucid? You haven't said nothing before, why?- Solas said while putting his pants on, he went in front of her and took her left hand.

 

-Before the conclave I barely remembered my dreams was rare the morning I remembered my dreams, but since the mark I remember all of them good or bad, but I was able to wake up in the moment I wanted, few weeks ago the dreams started to be more real... not every day but some nights I was able to control them, other nights I can feel things on my skin or a taste in my mouth after I wake up.- She explained, Solas was listening and exterminating her hand.

 

-I guess is the mark who does that to you, and I think your dreams will be more real and you will be more aware of them the more powerful the mark becomes, you shouldn't be worried, for you these are only dreams, you're not a mage after all.- He said and kissed her on the lips trying to reassure her a little, because she looked a bit concerned.

 

-If something change I'll tell you, perhaps you can visit me in my dreams and see it by yourself.- She suggested and Solas really liked the idea.

 

-That would be wonderful, we can try it tonight if you wish I'm curious to see your dreams.- He said putting on the rest of his clothes, he kissed her hand and left.

 

Time was precious this morning she will take a long bath later, but for now she get ready the best she could, today green was the color of her shirt, as she put on the shirt she briefly touches where Solas bruised her last night, but her skin was clean and pale now, she wishes that the mark he left remained there to remind her it was real what they did, sometimes it feels like a dream, a dream that fades in the morning the moment you open your eyes in the first seconds and you struggle to understand if that was real or just a dream.

 

The sky is blue and the water is wet that's for sure and once thing you must know, Cullen is a reliable man, if you tell him to do anything you know he will do it.

 

There he was waiting at the door to his tower the one with the bridge.

 

The commander smiles at her, a full smile that reached his eyes and ears, even his pretty curls, it seems he was eager.

 

-So are you ready commander?? I want to tell you, there are some tiny details to polish, but is in your room, should be finished in the next days but, the basic, the important it's done.-

 

-I can't wait, my hands are trembling and is not because the lyrium withdrawal.- The Commander confessed like a child before open a wrapped gift.

 

She pushes the door and they enter, for the start a little to the left a robust wooden spiral staircase with a banister, that connected his workplace with his quarters, no more climbing in the dark afraid to fall on the hard floor. He looks around.

 

The whole ceiling over his desk has been reinforced as well, he touches the banister, he takes off one of his thick leather gloves, to touch and feel the dark wood with his own fimgers, soft and inviting, there was something feminine and sensual about the way the stairs curved, Cullen smiles looking at her.

 

-Should I go up there?.- He said excited, with puppy eyes, those eyes that makes women sigh in all Skyhold.

 

-What do you think? Go, you Curly.- She encourages the man, who caress the wooden banister with his fingertips as he, step by step goes up to his new quarters.

 

With widen eyes and speechless examines his surroundings, when the banister ends a small railing is around the squared hole where the circular stair is put, now nobody will disappear suddenly to fall down the stairs in the dark. On the left an Orlesian iron heater, with a pipe that went up through the perfectly finished ceiling, now he can heat some water there and keep his place cozy every time he wished, also on the left a small table with three chairs, the bed still where it always were, Cullen turns around to see a white couch where he can definitely see himself relaxing, reading or napping.

 

Now he looks to the right, to see a mirror with the wash stand so now he can properly shave if he wants every day, or style his hair quicker than with the hand mirror he has.

The drawer and the nightstand still there, there is also an armor stand to place his armor at the and of the day.

 

He understood why the floor under his boots was so heavily reinforced.

 

Cullen noticed more pillows on his bed, and folded blankets on the drawer, candles, towels, and many different useful objects that will make his life easier indeed.

 

It was so functional and practical, that is Cullen, this is how it was, but warm and welcoming, every tiny detail was there to make his life more comfortable, he loved it so much.

 

-It's like magic isn't it? One of the good things about Skyhold is all the abandoned furniture we find that nobody wants.... most of the work was structural, many things were brought in pieces and assembled together once here, tell me commander what do you think, do you like it or not?.-

 

His back is facing her, before he could even talk the words stumble in his head.

 

He rubs the back of his neck.

 

-I... I... I don't know what to say, nobody did something like this for me, it's perfect.- At the end of his phrase you can feel the emotion in his voice, a tear maybe?.

 

Suddenly he turns around and embraces her crushing the small woman against his armored chest.

 

-I get it, I get it, you love it Cullen, but I need air to live.. you know...- She said with her face buried in that fur of his.

 

Cullen coughs clearing his throat, he finally ends his tight hold on her.

 

The Commander looks away rubbing his right eye with one finger.

 

-The sawdust....- He said clearing his throat, she takes his hands and squeezes them hard.

 

-Hehe yes... listen you should thank the workers and Dorian, he helped with the decoration and gave me some of his pillows and you know, now you can bring someone here because you have decent place to be proud of.- She winks and Cullen smiles, it's feels so good to have this kind of confidence with someone and how much he needed at first to get used to her and her lack of formalism or respect for the ranks, but now she feels like a friend or family or more, he thought.

 

Resting his hand on the pommel Cullen returns the wink with a naughty smile on his lips.

 

-Yes I'm glad the floor is reinforced, if you know what I mean....- He said and the inquisitor giggled.

 

-Oh Commander Cullen!.- She said faking shock for his comment, the woman playfully punch his arm.

-Well Cullen, I really hope you enjoy this, I must leave, I see you at lunch time in the main hall.- They waved at each other and she went down the stairs, Cullen lies down on his bed with a smile on his lips.

 

-I could work from here today.. or for ever.- He murmurs to himself burying his face in the numerous pillows.

 

***********************

 

She was taking a pleasurable and hot bath, perfumed water with oils, a fancy soap she loved that smelled like citric fruits, this is, of course Dorian's doing because she had enough with hot water and a regular soap that smelled like almonds the one most of the people used here.

 

 

You can only see half of her face, she has her eyes closed, thinking in nothing at all, sometimes she thought about a house with a small orchid, a place close to some source of water, maybe a river, a lake, or the sea? Any of these are perfect, also a dog, a real one this time, cats and a cow... chickens... her thoughts were erratic with no other in particular, but she likes to indulge in them imagining a life she wanted for herself, a life she couldn't possibly have but, she loved to fantasize about.

 

Maybe she has to contact with his old boss, she has plans to do.

 

The day passed lazily, meetings with nobles, reunions in the war room, dance lessons, Andrates's tits she was a lame dancer, after the lunch all stayed there talking, drinking some hot tea or cookies.

 

-Leliana, before you leave, I completely forgot this before, but could you contact someone for me?, I don't know exactly where he is, but they should be around the Free Marches maybe, even Antiva.- all leaned forward to look at her with curiosity.

 

Leliana left her hot tea sweetened with honey on the large table.

 

-Of course, but you said your group of mercenaries and your boss died in the conclave.- She said arching her eyebrows.

 

-I was part of the Red Company, but there is also the Blue Company which is the main company, the Red Company was just a branch of it, tell Marcus it's time for my payment, he knows I'm here.-

 

Leliana looks perplexed, she was completely unaware of this, how? It means the Inquisitor can keep secrets from her, Leliana doesn't know if she should be upset or admire her.

 

-What? You never asked, you assumed the first thing I told and you decided it was enough, you never went further, Leliana please, do that for me, I'll talk to you later.- Leliana simply nodded and smiled politely.

 

-The Blue company? I know them, very competent people, I think I know the guy … that Marcus is from Tevinter, the guy is a mage, but with a two handed sword on his back, stoic and silent type, tall for a human, is that him?.- Iron Bull asked, and she smiled.

 

-Yes that's him, is an interesting man, always respected me and handsome, I wouldn't mind to admit we had something in the past, a gentleman out and in the bed.- She smiled thinking about the moments of intimacy between they two shared long time ago.

 

Solas looked briefly at her, the thought of her with another man, even if was time ago, was disturbing enough to moments later leave the table with half of the cookie in his hand, he said bye politely to everyone and left.

 

Solas and her barely spoke at the lunch today, they have to be discrete, and this will last indefinitely, how is going to end? None of them know it.

 

When Solas left she talked about Marcus with Dorian and Bull, Marcus was more specifically an arcane warrior, born in a humble family there in Tevinter, his mother was a mage, but his father don't, he was a successful mercenary, so much it was that he decided to expand his business, creating the Silver Company, when that company disappeared in the Conclave, he found more capable people, months latter she sent a letter to him, until that moment he thought she died with the rest of her company and not only that, she was The Inquisitor now.

 

-So he keeps all your money, how is that?.-Varric asks.

 

-It's simple, I travel with some money, not all of it, is the safer way, when the people hired us he keep our money and once we were back and in a safe place he would give us our part, he keeps safe our money and I saved a lot of money just taking few coins for basic needs, Marcus has my savings, now I want it all back.-

 

-But you don't need money, you have the inquisition, you just have to ask and you'll have anything you need.- Varric said.

 

-Well The Inquisition isn't mine at all, Varric, I'm poor in fact, I have no salary, I have nothing but this hands and all the things I pick up in our travels, I may have privileges but, I want to have whatever I want without asking for it, I have some dignity you know, when this ends I will have nothing and you know it.- Varric looked at his own hands, thoughtfully.

 

-Don't say that Inquisitor, the people needs you, and they love you, you earned respect from nobles and wealthy people equally from all Thedas, all you did wont be forgotten.- Josephine said with consternation written all over her pretty face.

 

-These are two faced people, people who only want me because I'm the only one who can close the breaches in all Thedas, when this ends or when I'm no longer needed …. I wonder how many of these will remain loyal.-

 

They murmured, looking at each other or looking at her.

 

-In the beginning I was like a tool, a weapon nothing less, I want to believe things have changed, people want and want from me ...- Dorian looked at her, hurt by her words, but he thought how she must feel with all that attention she gets only because she is the Inquisitor, never truly knowing if someone really liked her, the pressure of the world on her shoulders and the doubt always present, made Dorian's heart ache for her.

 

-Is just... I want to have my back covered you know, I had plans, I had a life before this...- She felt awkward suddenly, she excused herself and left the table moments later, Dorian will approach her later.

 

All of them felt guilty for many reasons.

 

-I'm guilty of that, I used her for one purpose in the beginning yes, I saw her as a tool, how many times we discussed her tactics, how many times we were upset with her choices even when she was doing her duty when nobody dared to make a choice? She never wanted to be Herald or The Inquisitor, you heard her Cassandra, you were there Leliana, and despite everything she did it, look how far she took the Inquisition and we doubted about her, we used her... sometimes I'm afraid she dies without knowing how much we appreciate her.- Cullen said out loud for once what he felt, the commander spoke again.

 

-And she paid the workers with her own money so they would end quicker my bedroom, for Andraste's sake I'm feeling horrible right now.- The commander said.

 

-And of course she wants her past life back, who wants all this unwanted weight on the shoulders? I'm surprised she haven't lost her sanity yet, I would.- Varric said, looking at his friends.

 

-And she haven't ran away from all this at night, something I would understand if she did it, guys the boss is just a mortal..- Iron Bull said shaking his horns.

 

-She even treats me like a friend even if I tried to kill her, she is not a weapon, she is a WOMAN.- A distant voice said from the opposite table, it was Alexius who was wearing ordinary clothes, Fereldan clothes to be more exact, his Tevinter mage robes were too showy for his own safety in Skyhold, he continued sipping his tea.

 

The group looked at him.

 

-That's true, good point Vint..-Iron Bull murmured.

 

-We must show her how we care for her, we should approach her more often, maybe she is feeling lonely because we don't want to bother her.... maybe our respect is taken by coldness and it make us look like opportunist.- Josephine said with resolution in her voice.

 

-What are we going to do now? To pet her head every time we cross her??- Cassandra asked she was serious.

 

-She likes hugs, we must hug her every day... several times that's it.- Cullen said.

 

-I propose we move this to the war room, the survival of the inquisition depends of her well being, also, she is a dear friend...someone call Solas we have an important reunion - Josephine said.

 

What happened next in the war room was a mystery.

 

 

             ******************************************

 

The Inquisitor went to the battlements where she found some quietude, she was there observing the clouds and their forms, today the clouds resembled things.

 

She felt a bit ashamed for her lack of trust, they work hard for the inquisition as well, she is not doing things all by herself, she know it, maybe she was angry because her destiny wasn't in her own hands and no longer belongs to her.

 

 

She was feeling sleepy it always happened after the lunch and there is time to take a little nap before the next dance lesson.

 

In her way to her chambers she found Bull, who insisted in carry her to the bed, like she was a little kid, she refused at first but the qunari looked at her like one eyed puppy and she had to accept, so there she was her arms around his thick neck, his huge arm under her legs and his massive hand on her side keeping her in place, the people looked at them and she smiled, it was fun.

 

Like he was afraid of breaking her, carefully Bull placed the woman on the bed.

 

-Bull.... you're so sweet, you're like the Tamassran you told me about, you have a good hand with children as well, if you're tired of being a spy, you can try with that.- She said while Bull helps her with her boots.

 

-Umm isn't a bad idea at all Boss.- He said and covered her body with a blanket.

 

She felt cozy and loved and the perfect end was when Iron Bull kissed her forehead, just like her mother used to do.

 

-Why are you doing this Bull?.- She asks getting comfortable under the blanket.

 

He sat beside her, the bed complained because his weight.

 

-Because sometimes I forget you're so tiny, except your tits...- He smiled and she did it as well.

 

-You're a pervert Bull and I love it, never change.-She said punching his arm playfully.

 

-You're my little tiny bee, those tiny things hurt like a dagger.- He said and she held three of his fingers, she can't honestly hold more with her small hands.

 

-I'm the queen bee, don't tell Dorian.- She winked.

 

Bull laughed looking down at her, observing the curve of her breasts, her smile, truth to be told he always liked her but she never made an attempt to seduce him.

 

Slowly he inclined his head and kissed her softly on the lips, a short but affectionate kiss, when he was done she had her hands on his bare chest.

 

-Bull.... wait..why?.-She asks smiling not upset but surprised.

 

-I just want you to feel good... I'm no mage but I got magic fingers.- He says arching one eyebrow, she chuckled.

 

-Aaaah you're tempting me ummm?? but I must decline Bull, I really appreciate your effort, I know you care, I apologize if I sounded …. bitter earlier... is just, is not the right time for me..- She tries to sound honest.

 

-I see, I understand Boss, no need to apologize, we expect so much from you, we realize sometimes you're just a mortal, a tiny one.-Bull smiles and pats her on the head.

 

-Thank you Bull for being so sweet, I needed that, and it helped.- She rested on her side, staring at the qunari who smiles while he walks away.

 

-You're welcome Boss.- He said and left.

 

She sighed deeply, her display of bitterness..... the woman buried her face in the pillow letting out some muffled curses and sobs, she turned around covering her face with her hands.

 

Minutes later she felt better, and finally fell asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope someone enjoyed this ;) as I said soon will be another chapter, a bit shorter I guess.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her dreams are not simple dreams, her relationship with Solas is in a delicate moment, something changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may not like what it comes next, but try to see it with her eyes, what would you do?

 

 

What a quiet dream, she was aware it was a dream, she knew it, because she went to take a nap and now is here in a white room, with odd shapes, trying to play chess with a well dressed gentleman, who was teaching her, it was useless, she never played before, if the dreams were based in the memories of your own brain, this chess lessons will be useless once she's awake again.

 

Someone is walking behind her, she look over her shoulder, it was Solas.

 

-Hello Solas, here I am learning useless techniques about chess, are you just part of the dream or you're visiting me?.- Solas kisses her on the cheek and squeezed her shoulder.

 

-Someone said you went to take a nap, so I went to take one as well, finally found you playing chess, so you never played?.- Solas looked over the board, the man explained her a move, and she did it, Solas' ears twitched, the man explained another move, and she did it, they did it three more times and Solas went completely white.

 

-Inquisitor, this man is a spirit.- He said taking her hand.

 

-Why? I can dream about spirits but it doesn't mean it's real...- She look up at Solas, his eyes were closed.

 

-He is teaching you right... and you never played before...- He said taking a deep breath.

 

-But.. I'm not a mage how this could happen I'm not connected to the Fade, unless...- She stopped talking when the dream started to change.

 

The twisted walls became brown and the ceiling was open now, there was the black city, was she visiting the fade in dreams like mages do, how this could be possible?.

 

-The mark.. it must be that, you open and close gates to the Fade, you're connected somehow, I guess isn't that strange after all, that man, is a spirit of wisdom.- Solas took her hands, she left the board behind while the spirit of wisdom showed his true form, so bright and ethereal and she felt it, she felt his energy he was friendly.

 

The spirit waved at her and simply left.

 

-So I have no magic, but I'm vulnerable to possessions... great.. just great, I only have the bad part.- She said annoyed pacing around Solas.

 

-I'll help you with this, don't worry.- He said kissing her on the lips, she abruptly broke the kiss.

 

Someone approaches her, it felt wrong and twisted maybe.

 

-I don't know who you are, but I don't like you, and I'm going to wake up right now, yes see you later Solas.- The elf knew it she can sense them in the Fade and that one right now was a desire demon, the dream began to fade, melting colors until Solas finally opened his eyes, he quickly left the couch and went to find her in her quarters resting on her back, looking at Solas.

 

And right there she knew that “dream” really happened and even more important, she can visit the fade in her dreams, even if she has o magic at all.

 

They two talked long about that, Solas agreed to visit her dreams very often, but he was happy that she can sense demons, she will be safe, he thinks.

 

Only Leliana, Solas and Dorian will know this in the next days, the Tevinter mage tried numerous test on her even was tempted to call Alexius for help, definitely the mark in her hand gave her a rope to visit the fade every time she dreamed.

 

************************************

 

 

And the time passed, dance lessons, Solas was a lover at night and a stranger at day for her, She took Blackwall, Bull and Solas with her, Dorian wanted to stay in Skyhold for sometime it seems he grew fond of the little mage and she wasn't going to make him unhappy.

 

Few days before their travel to The Dales, the Inquisitor began to receive anonymous letters, love letters, sweet and affectionate, all seemed wrote by the same hand, and she couldn't recognize the writing, she kept the secret for herself.

 

She liked The Dales, there was her favorite Dalish clan, Keeper Hawen was a nice guy with her, she had to finish small tasks around the map, there is always time to visit the Dalish.

 

She finally recruited Loranil the happy and anxious elf hunter who wanted to join the Inquisition the moment they stepped into the Dalish camp.

 

She speaks with Hawen, the inquisitor uses all the elvhen words she knows, Hawen smiles, Solas rolls his eyes, every time she asks the keeper something related to the Elvhen history, Solas rolls his eyes a little, she noticed and did it a few more times to see if her intuition was wrong, she was right, Solas seems to dislike the Dalish so much.

 

While walking to one of the the many Inqisition's camps she spotted a large rock that resembled an erect penis with the respective balls, she couldn't help it but climbed the rock and decided to straddle it like a horse.

 

Blackwall was laughing, Bull was laughing, she was laughing, except for Solas who was rolling his eyes shaking his head, ashamed.

-Iron Bull so this must be like ridding the bull... I can't stretch my legs much more!.- She said that because she saw Solas, she wanted to confront him, what is this stupid behavior of his?

 

-Aaah mine is bigger Boss.- He said wiping a tear with one of his huge fingers.

 

All jokes come to an end and she climbed off the rock, they continued in silence, once the group were in one of the Inquisition camps they rested a little and all of them sat around the fire to eat a warm dinner that consisted in bread, beef soup with vegetables, it was tasty and it was hot, the nights were a colder in the Exalted Plains, their next destiny was the Emerald Graves, right after Halamshiral or before, just a quick travel to take the damn letters from the red lyrium smuggles that Cullen needed so much.

 

The dinner ended and the group was doing their things, Blackwall was checking his armor, Iron Bull was sharpening his big battleaxe, Solas went to read book beside the fire, and the Inquisitor went alone to take a walk under the moonlight, she had a wooden stick to poke things, like strange mushrooms, or just to poke random things, she is lost in her thought, she likes the moss, would be nice to have a bed made with moss.

 

The inquisitor is thankful for being alone right now, because she wanted to rub her face on the moss, she did it, was like velvet! And smelled so good, like rain and green things, she sat on a rock with mosh and threw few pieces of bread on the ground.

 

She was quiet, observing carefully, little animals will come gradually, instead a little animal, a giant spider came, they looked at each other, the Inquisitor looked away, trying to be very quiet like she was part of the rock, she thought the giant spiders were all carnivore, but this one was eating bread.

 

How little she and the people really knew about giant spiders, maybe this was a solitary male? She threw another piece of bread and the spider ate it, when the spider was done, that thing looked up to the Inquisitor.

 

-You're drooling.. are you a lame hunter umm? I don't have more bread go bother someone else, go find Solas he feeds spiders.... why you have so many eyes?.- She was talking with a giant spider, well could be one symptom of stress she thought.

 

-Oh! Don't look at me like that... fine I'll find you something, wait here.- She jumped of the rock and left the grove, once in the camp she found some apples that had see better days and few cookies with raisins, nobody likes these...

 

-Where are you going?.- Blackwall asks seeing her carrying a small sack.

 

-I'm feeding some rabbits and you know tiny forest creatures...- She simply said with the sack on her shoulder, Blackwall smiled, Bull paused his work to look at her as she left, he smiled and Solas observed the direction she took.

 

When she returned to the grove the inquisitor was sad, the giant spider no longer was here, but she called it like it was a cat.

 

-Psshhh, pssshhhh, pssshhhh, come here pretty, I have more things for you...- She called and moments later a bush made a noise and the spider came to her call, she threw one apple and the spider ate it happily, that thing was … happy because wriggled his hairy butt every time she feeds the thing.

 

-All these things only happen to me I swear...... do you want a cookie? Umm hairy thing?.-She talks to the spider like it was a dog or something, she heard something behind her.

 

-Inquisitor, where are you?.- That was Blackwall's voice, she looked at him and ordered him to stay where he was and remain silent, the spider made a “zzzzzzzz zzz” noise.

 

She went with Blackwall, for her surprise there was also Solas and Bull.

 

-Shhhhh don't speak loud, you will scare my new friend, look.- She moved away to point at the spider.

 

-A giant spider?, you're here feeding a giant spider without weapons completely alone..- Iron Bull said perplexed.

 

-It's a friendly one, that thing came to me and ate bread, and looked at the with her or his many eyes like with love, drooling and I had to bring more food, so.. I called the spider and it came...

 

For the first time in two weeks Solas finally smiled.

 

-It seems like you made a new friend, what a strange creature.- He said taking one of the apples he slowly walked towards the spider and threw the apple in front the animal, the spider looked at him, and ate the fruit.

 

-Maybe the fade has something to do with this .. is too docile, we usually kill them, we never had the chance to …. talk?.- Blackwall said.

 

-Hehe yes something like--- “hello mr Spider, what a wonderful day isn't?”- She said with humor and Bull followed.

 

-And the mr Spider would say “Oh indeed, a lovely day to read a book under a tree”- All of them giggled.

 

-Go Bull give mr Spider an apple.- The Inquisitor tried to encourage the qunari.

 

-Umm no, that thing has too many hair.... Eww no.- He said stepping behind Blackwall.

 

-Too many hair? Then never kiss Blackwall.-She giggled.

 

Even Blackwall feed the spider, finally the creature was full it seems, left the group and went into the deep forest.

 

The group returned to the camp, she was sitting taking off her armor, it was late, when she was only wearing a shirt and her leather pants saw something.

 

Was that the spider? Was on top of a rock the moon on the sky, the creature was making some noise, the noise a spider do? Like a shriek maybe, waving his frontal legs to the moon.

 

-Are you fucking kidding me?.- She said out loud and Solas went to observe the scene, Iron Bull joined.

 

-What............ what kind of giant spider howls to the moon like a wolf does?- Bull asked.

 

-You know I'm going to sleep.... I had enough weird shit for one day..- Iron Bull said shaking his head walking to his tent.

 

-What a strange creature... maybe Blackwall was right about the fade and the spider... are you going to sleep in my tent to night?- Solas asks

 

-Maybe, will you respect me??.- She gets a little closer, smiling.

 

Solas takes her hand and they go a little away from the camp, where nobody can see them.

 

-Of course I will always respect you.. but can I kiss you now?.- She smiles and Solas kisses her, on the neck, jaw and lips, under the moonlight, for her this was romantic.

 

The elf looked at her, she looked beautiful tonight, she is always but tonight, tonight was different, he was tempted to tell her how much he loved her, to tell her so many things, how many times he imagined this situation in his head? Countless times, she is resting her face on his shoulder.

 

-I can't.... - He murmured so low.

 

-Solas, did you just said something?....- Solas said nothing and she continued.

 

-Few weeks ago Bull kissed me..- She simply said and looked away.

 

Solas froze at her words, what he was expecting?.

 

-Was a surprise, I wasn't expecting the kiss at all, if our relationship was .. normal and everybody knew, nothing of that would happen.. you know? Solas I'm talking to you.- The human looked at him, he was rigid looking at the horizon.

 

-I'm not angry... but I must leave now.- Solas said, and left quickly.

 

-Solas?......- She sighed with exasperation, she wasn't happy at all, she was tired and sad and the most important, she was walking over the thin edge of her patience.

 

In the way back to the camp her face reflected her current mood, and Bull saw it.

 

-Something is wrong Boss? Solas is also upset...- He suspected things, Bull always does.

 

She decided to cover a true with another true.

 

They went to the limit of the camp and they sat on a rock.

 

She explained what happens in her dreams, how she can visit the fade in her dreams like mage do, all because the mark in her hand, Bull listened in absolute silence.

 

-So... you're afraid of me now?.- She asked .

 

The qunari smiled.

 

-Of course I'm not, you seem to control that just fine.. All the things you went through and now this.. you're a strong woman, you endure everything and you don't even blink, I don't know how you do it. - His arm pulls her closer with affection, her hand rubs his belly.

 

-I don't know it either, I just keep going...- Bull kissed the top of her head and she felt much better, she went to sleep.

 

She slept beside Solas, she won't touch him unless he made the first move, but nothing happened and the woman finally fell asleep hugging part of her pillow like she use to do.

 

She was done with the Exalted plains, she looked under every rock, talked with everybody, closed every breach. In the morning they went back to Skyhold, to rest a little and continue her duties.

 

The travel was silent, she barely talked, she only listened to the conversation between Blackwall and Bull, she haven't say a word to Solas, he was silent as she was.

 

When they finally crossed the gates of Skyhold Josephine was there with a tray of Orlesian sweets, Iron Bull was the first to take one followed next by Blackwall who soon had his beard covered with crumbs, The inquisitor simply smiled, thanked Josephine and asked for a hot bath, she was tired and spent, her hair dirty with dust and sweat.

 

She went to visit Dorian, who was in the library reading tales to the little mage, the kid was sitting on a fluffy pillow, listening Dorian, seeing the scene she just waved, Dorian winked at her.

She left.

 

The bath was the best, she felt new and fresh, this time she wore a simple white shirt, she left her wet hair lose, it will dry like this, as soon as she was ready again, the Inquisition was knocking her door, reports from the exalted plains and a quick meeting in the war room to settle our next moves.

 

Tonight she ate the dinner in the privacy or her quarters, she just wanted to sleep.

 

She tried to read but nothing seemed to catch her attention, so she decided to check the new letters, pointless letters, one of them was one of these mysterious love letters she lately received, the woman opened a box she had in the shelves and counted eleven letters, and with the new one twelve.

 

The last one was affectionate like the others, same letters same paper, all the same, but this one had more passion in it, more desire....

 

But why does she need this? It leads to nothing, how many letters are yet to be sent? Why? which is the reason all of sudden? Lots of questions in her head, and this only made her angry.

 

If this was some kind of joke.... why is someone doing this?

 

-It is cruel, now is when I need love …I'm dying of loneliness and someone is torturing me with empty promises and sweet words, why are you hiding? It's because you're afraid if someone see you with me, because you're not the only one!. - She said out loud, made a paper ball with the last letter and threw it as hard as she can from one of the stone balconies, the paper landed somewhere in the garden.

 

She decided to take a little nocturnal walk, maybe that will be helpful.

 

With a blanket on her shoulders, she walked alone under the stars, the music from the tavern filled the nocturnal air, Blackwall went to sleep soon, the man was tired, there was light in the commander's room, maybe he was awake or maybe man is finally having his floor tested, she smiled.

 

A solitary man was smoking his wooden pipe, looking away where the refuge camps rest.

 

-A beautiful night isn't?, welcome back my lady.- It was Alexius, he earned more liberty, helping the Inquisition with his investigations, Leliana thought the man deserve it and the Inquisitor was agree, so there he was roaming free in Skyhold.

 

-Hello Gereon, yes indeed.... Our spymaster told me about your progress with the red lyrium, you're doing amazing things …. thank you.- She said, squeezing his arm he returned the gesture smiling.

 

-Ah research always been my passion, it seems to be the only thing that keeps me sane after all, and I owe you that, because otherwise now I would be in my house of Tevinter, living alone being miserable... at least now... I'm useful...... what about you my lady, was your travel successful?.- He asked before using his pipe, he blows the smoke through his sightly parted lips.

 

She smiled, how relaxed he was tonight.

 

-I like the Exalted Plains, Halla, Dalish, huge trees … yes it was successful... Gereon can I ask you something? I would understand if you don't..- She looked at him, Alexius turned around and smiled.

 

-Ask all you want.- He simply said, smiling looking down at her.

 

-Your... marriage was arranged? Dorian told me about how marriages are arranged..-

 

Alexius left the pipe on the stone.

 

-Yes it was, I was the son of a wealthy family as she was, we were friends at first, but later we fell in love, despite being arranged.. we fell in love, destiny gave me that gift, I know friends of mine who spend more time with slaves than with their respective husband or wife... I can't blame them, they are trapped in marriages without love, that's what usually happens, I was happy, I had a wife and a son, they were the love of my life..... but that's how life is... sometimes gives you all, and sometimes takes it all from you, oh and you know I tried to change that... sometimes is just hard to accept terrible things happen and nothing can change that.- He exhaled and continued.

 

-But, here we are now, with a new purpose doing good things, doing what is right ...- He said looking sad.

 

-I'm so sorry, I made you sad...- Now she was the one sad, but a hand squeezed her shoulder.

 

It was his.

 

-I'm fine my lady... it wasn't that bad, you know? Talk about it helps me, don't worry, our little talks help me to overcome my loss..- He smiled and she returned the gesture with a little smile.

 

She held his face with her hands.

 

-You're a good man Alexius, you're a good man.....- He closed his eyes, maybe he was a good man, he thought, he opened his eyes when he felt her hands fade.

 

-I must go to sleep, tomorrow will be a busy day, are you going to sleep Alexius?.- She asked ready to leave.

 

-I don't know, no right now, first, I must check my notes for tomorrow... Good night my lady.- He said and bowed his head lightly.

 

-Then I wish you a nice lecture... bye Alexius!- She exclaimed smiling, and went back inside the keep, if that man resembled the Gereon Alexius before all y the bad things that happened to him, she understood why Dorian admires him so much, is a respectable man, she though while she walked up stairs.

 

Solas isn't here but he often visits her when is quite late, she haven't talked to him more than five words since that night at the plains, she doesn't think he will visit her bed tonight, so she simply went to sleep, she is tired of chasing him.... “give him time” she says to herself.

 

After weeks sleeping on a bedroll was impossible to sleep on that huge bed, so fluffy and empty, so she made what it looked like a nest in front the fireplace and tonight she will sleep there.

 

 

She was between the dreams and the reality, when she felt something around her waist, Solas finally joined her.

 

 

-You came.. I thought you....- She said with sleepy voice.

 

Solas silenced her with a passionate kiss, Solas wouldn't admit this but, when he went to sleep he found no rest without her and after their last “talk” he wanted to speak with her, he wanted to apologize but the most important he needed her more than anything, more that he would openly admit, Solas who needs nothing from nobody, needs her to breathe.

 

-I need you...- Solas whispered between kisses.

 

-I know... but, how much time are we going to keep this like a secret? Because I'm feeling like.. like I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing...I can't continue like this Solas, I'm unhappy...- She suddenly sat on the blankets, her back facing the fireplace.

 

The kisses quickly ended and Solas sat on the blankets as well.

 

-Is this some kind of ultimatum? It's too soon to decide these these things, I thought you were happy ...- He tried to reach her hand but the human isn't cooperating.

 

-No Solas, I'm not, how I could be?, you make me feel like a dirty secret you want to keep locked away, I'm embarrassing you Solas?.- Her words punched Solas right in the face.

 

-And is about what you want, never about what I want?... - He stood and began to pace in front of her, while he talks his tone rises.

 

-You don't know how I feel when you flirt constantly with other men?.- He asked touching his forehead and resting the other on his hip.

 

-Oh! That's the way I am, and you insisted to keep your dirty affairs under the carpet, what would you think if all of sudden I stop doing it? The people would speak, is what Cole said isn't? Is because I'm human, I'm sorry, I can't change the shape of my ears!- She stood rising her hands in a defensive manner at the end of her phrase.

 

-This was a mistake from the moment you kissed me... this shouldn't had happened, it is my fault, only mine....- Solas said looking at her.

 

-You never told me “I love you”, you know what? Solas what you give me, other men can give me the same, because what we have it seems is only about sex, I can have that every time I want, I am the Inquisitor and I am a mistake.- Her hands are shaking, she took one of the blankets and tried to find her slippers, was difficult task because the darkness.

 

There he was, with his heart pounding in his chest like a crazy, he wanted to kiss her or maybe strangle her or both, he was losing her.

 

-Why you say such cruel things ma vhenan? You can't do that to me, you... you know you mean much more than sex..- He reached out to hold her face with his now cold hands.

 

-Do I? … do I? … now you say these sweet words … this is over Solas, you win, because from the moment this started I knew you wanted to end it, do you think I'm stupid?.- She kissed him softly on the lips, the last kiss, sad and bittersweet for both.

 

She started it and she ended it, I deserve it, Solas thought.

 

She left.

 

Solas looked around, how lonely and depressing this place was without her, the elf picked up one of the blankets she had around her body, smells like her, Solas inhales her scent and covers his shoulders with the thick and soft blanket, his hands still cold.

 

He walks around the room for sometime, the blanket was so big he stumbled a couple of times with it, an hour passed, and nobody came, he sat on the bed, his legs swinging, “She's not coming back” he murmured, another hour passed, he was fighting to keep his eyes open, eventually he lays on her bed, completely covered, he felt so tiny “She's not coming back” He murmured for the last time before he fell asleep hugging one of her pillows, cradled by her scent.

 

That night Solas slept alone on her bed.

 

 

When she closed the door behind her, she waited for ten minutes right there like a statue, with hope, “He loves me, I bet he does.. wait a little more” She said, but she understood, she was the one who loved him... she was guessing she was wasting her time, in the heat of the discussion she left only wearing an oversized shirt, her smalls, these ugly and brown slippers she always wore in her quarters when nobody is looking and the blanket she took when she left, she needs to find a place to stay and quickly because she was starting to froze.

 

Was late, very late, what about Iron Bull? No, he's probably with a barmaid, Dorian? No because he will ask and she doesn't want to talk, same with Cullen..... She began to cry like a unstable child, she's heartbroken and her legs were shaking because the cold air between the blanket and her skin.

 

The only good thing is everybody is asleep except few guards, but these never ask if they see the Inquisitor walking around half naked, walking around like a lost soul crying with red eyes.

 

She walked around Skyhold, without a place to go the poor woman just hoped Solas left her room so she can return but, if the elf still there? She kept walking, she was tired and sleepy, when she saw light under one door, it was Alexius' door, after all he said he would be reading isn't it?

 

She went to knock the door, but she stopped, what is he going to think of her? Is he going to ask her? She is half naked, But.... she wanted to be a little selfish, “I've been very nice to you, now let me sleep here or I kick you out my castle...NO” She thought that would be rude, maybe she can use her puppy eyes and be cute, for once...

 

She cursed her bad luck, gritted her teeth and closed briefly her eyes, like she was about to receive a slap on the face, she knocked the door three times.

 

The woman quickly wiped her tears and brushed her hair with her fingers, at least she smelled nice.

 

Nothing is happening maybe he fell asleep with the candles on.

 

She will knock again if nothing happens then, she will leave.

 

She knocks again and then noises from the other side.

 

Alaxius opened the door, he was surprised, very surprised, he was speechless.

 

-I'm bothering you?... I just need a place to stay tonight, I wont bother you I can sleep in a corner, I don't even snore.... no questions, I just need a place, please??.- She begged using her best puppy eyes.

 

Alexius looked at her, her face was a mess, red eyes, red nose, red cheeks, trembling lip, what happened? But she said no questions, he will respect that. Alexius took her cold hands.

 

-You're freezing out there come in right now, I have hot spiced wine and a brassier.-

 

The room was very different from the last time she was here, books, papers, parchments, ink and notes everywhere,  lamps and candles, she liked the smell of books and the man smelled like well preserved books with hints of wine.

 

She sat on the bed and the man quickly offered her a cup of spiced wine, was hot and very nice.

 

-I have some almonds and walnuts if you're hungry, I'm really sorry I don't use to have guests, and this room is a little disaster, papers everywhere! I can hear my wife telling me to clean up all this mess ...- He was smiling picking up books and papers to create new piles, towers of books which remain precariously in balance, she smiles, how concerned he is, he is even nervous.

 

 

The inquisitor is here, in the middle of the night, completely in need of a friend, obviously, half naked, yes he saw it, he saw her legs when she sat on the edge of the bed, he is a middle aged man, but still a man, when a attractive woman knocks your door at night, like this, he surprised himself murmuring “Maker preserve me”.When that hypothetical and improbable scenario happens you must behave like the gentleman you are.

 

-You don't have to worry Gereon, your company is all I need, please continue your work I don't want to interrupt your studies, do you mind if I lay down while you work?..- She asked crossing the blanket over her chest.

 

-Of course, I still have to read my notes and write some reports about my observations, rest my lady.- He sounded affectionate, like a friend, like someone who cares, happily she fell asleep listening the noise of a quill dancing on paper.

 

She sleep for what it seems minutes but in fact was an hour, the room is small and the brassier keep it cozy so much she left her blanket on the bed and went behind Alexius.

 

-Hey ….- She said yawing, with sleepy voice, Alexius turned his head and smiled, the woman wrapped her arms around his neck.

 

-It's very late and you should have some rest, you work too much.- She said in his ear, he wont lie, it feels good, more than good, it's wonderful, when someone cares for you so sweetly, he can't remember the last time he felt like this, this simple gesture meant the world for him, he leaned his face on hers with his eyes closed, took her hand and kissed her fingers tenderly.

 

-Thank you, for being the way you're, never change.- He said lacing his fingers with hers.

 

-I never thought you were so sweet ….- She squeezed his hand.

 

-Who said an evil magister can't be? I always been like this in my intimate moments...I thought I would never feel like this again...after all my suffering...but my lady we can't share the same bed, I'll sleep on the ground with some blankets, I'll be fine my lady.-

 

-Aaah I would rather sleep on the ground, after so many weeks sleeping on a humble bedroll, takes me some time to get used once again to sleep on a bed.....- Something caught her attention on the desk, a crumpled paper, The Inquisitor extended her hand.

 

-This is the letter I threw through my window earlier... you found it, where?.- Alexius took a deep breath, still holding her hand.

 

-It was between a bush, why you threw it, you don't like it?- He asked rising an eyebrow.

 

-Umm I liked in the beginning, it made me feel quite special you know? But I was.. I am very unhappy right now...... all these nice words, for what? Letter after anonymous letter, I knew that person will never show up...is someone mocking me? Empty words no less, why that person is making me feel special if never will approach me? It's cruel.- Alexius feel the hurt in her voice.

 

-Nobody is mocking you my child, maybe someone heard you that day in the main hall, after the lunch and wanted you to feel special.- He stood and took her face with his hands.

 

-Pity? It's even worst.....- She looked away but the man gently forced her to look at him.

 

-No, it's not pity, if someone really loved you?, if the letters were completely honest?...- She placed her hands on his chest.

 

-How do you know that Gereon? I mean if someone loved me I would like to know who is, or who wrote those letters if they did to make me happy.. just to cheer me up I would like to know it anyway.- Anything would better, after Solas she was desperate, she wanted someone to love her, for once.

 

Alexius took her hands, but remained in silence.

 

-Gereon..? are....- She coughs. -Are you the one who wrote the letters??.- Her right hand caress his jaw and the thumb his bottom lip, the man looked down at her.

 

-I am the one who wrote and sent the letters.....- He sighed and rested his forehead on hers.

 

-Why??.- She simply asked.

 

-Because I love you....- He stepped away, quickly sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands on his knees, looking down, nervous.

 

She was afraid, afraid for him, but surprised, she knew things, she knew they two had a strange friendship, strange because he wanted to kill her, but that changed …. because of her actions?

 

-I warned you, I told you your kindness could be dangerous.- The man said with his hands over his face.

 

-Why you haven't told me Gereon?- She sat right beside him.

 

-Are you serious? .. I'm an old man, who tried to kill you.... you deserve much more.

 

She took his face and gently forced him to look at her, she smiled.

 

-Fool.... you're not that old Gereon, you look good, you're an elegant man, they way you move .. the way you talk, even your hands are elegant, you have a regal aura around you, I like your wild eyebrows, and for all I can see, you have a nice body, Gereon Alexius, you still being a very interesting man, why I should want more? You're amazing.- Suddenly she kissed him on the cheek.

 

Alexius smiled, the man took her hand.

 

-See?, you're doing it again, the day the children visited Skyhold.... the day you were so sweet after all the bad things I've done, the sweet words you told me, I haven't felt like that since I don't know when... you made me feel loved...- He kissed her knuckles few times, with a smile on the lips, they looked into each other eyes.

 

He took his chance and kissed her on the lips, how many times he imagined this? And she returned the kiss, holding his face, the kiss prolonged and it was so good , Alexius was a very good kisser, the man left her breathless.

 

He also left tiny kisses all over her face and her neck.

 

-My love... you don't know how much I wanted this, you have no idea.- His hot breath against the wet skin of her neck.

 

-If all you do is like this.... Maker have mercy..- He chuckled and softly nibbled her neck, Alexius caress his nose on hers.

 

-But you should be the one sleeping on the bed, wouldn't be appropriate for a lady..... to share a bed..- He tried to sound serious but when he looked at her, Maker, she was unbuttoning his shirt, very slowly.

 

-You're my prisoner, isn't it? We will share this bed, understood? Nobody will sleep on the ground.- She liked what she saw, his chest was firm and his arms sightly muscled, the normal for a man who spend his days reading books with a comfortable life, he smelled so good.

 

Her own words echoed in her head, yes she can have sex with any man, and that would be exactly the same she had with Solas... nothing less, but she wanted more with Solas, he wanted his love, but for some reason, he wasn't going to give her what she wanted.

 

She was divided, to wait for Solas or proving to herself that, sex without love was the best option for someone in her position, she looked at Alexius the way he looked at her, the devotion in his eyes, the longing, how much times she wished Solas looked at her like this? But that will never happen she thought.

 

From now she will take every chance to have a good time, no love, no complications, just a distraction from her stressful life as the Inquisitor.

 

-Tell me Gereon.. do you really love me?.- Her arms around his neck, her breasts squeezed against his chest.

 

-I do I love you, but you deserve something better, someone younger, I would understand if after this night we won't share the same bed again....- He kisses her like it was his last time together, with such love it was overwhelming for her senses. She broke the kiss.

 

-I can't promise you love Gereon..... but, if you allow me I'll be glad to visit your room every time we both want. I've decided to take …. pleasure every time I have the chance, love isn't for me Alexius... not now, but this... if you want it, I'll be yours every time you want.-She felt his hand holding her face, his thumb caressing her lips.

 

-I'm agree with your terms, but only if we continue being friends... I only want you to be happy.- The man smiled and kissed her hand.

 

-You're always a gentleman, so what are we going to do now? I think I have few ideas.... - She laid on her back, smiling and he followed her, he began to slowly explore her body and noticed the few scars on her skin, by far her life has been more difficult than his own, her kisses were full of lust this time, his shirt fell on the ground and finally he was on top, her legs firmly around his hips, this prisoner isn't going to go escape tonight.

 

She can't find nothing negative about his age, it doesn't feel gross or strange, it feels really good indeed, he is a skilled lover and she can feel it, he is more concerned about her pleasure than in his own, he felt like a man in the prime of his life and she can't lie about that because that's how it feels.

 

Dorian told once his people has no reserve in love or in war, and Maker, he was right.

 

Mages seems to have lots of skills, he casts an spell on himself, to protect her, he said, must be something all mage are taught to do.. if they have something to prevent pregnancy they should have something to get pregnant easily, The Inquisition must find a way to sell that, she thought looking at him, magic can do amazing things.

 

His lips were on hers, making passionate and hot sex, like she was the only thing that matters in this twisted and cruel universe they live in, every thrust, every caress, every kiss was filled with some kind of tickles like little lightning caressing her skin.

 

Sex with mages was amazing.

 

Her legs were on his shoulders now, her pleasure was his priority, he can't believe his luck right now, he lifted her hips, he can go deeper now and rub perfectly in the right place, she had all the room she wanted to pleasure herself this way, it was a beautiful sight for him, his hands caressing her legs up and down and his lips kissing them, his eyes never leaving her body.

 

When she came, her legs quickly hugged the mage, making him fall over her, she hugged her with her arms and legs they kissed each other, she grabbed his ass, it was another toned part of his body, after all, all those stairs in Skyhold had their benefits.

 

He finished, a loud moan filled the small room, the way she claimed him was what brought him to the edge, intense and sweet, he loved her even more, even then he knew this was only sex for her, but Maker please keep her this close fore ever, he thought as he laid at her side with his head touching hers, breathless, smiling kissing her shoulders and lovingly playing with her long hair.

 

She turned around to rest on her side, they kissed each other, sweetly, with affection.

 

-You make me feel young again, it's here deep inside I feel like I'm a teenager again.- His palm is on his chest, she smiles and kisses him on the nose.

 

-So... this is how it feels when someone loves you? .. I must confess, you're tempting me.- She shivered a little and the man pulled her thick blanket over them, pulling her closer Alexius held her very close, her head on his chest and her arm around his waist.

 

-That can't be truth, I see how men look at you... nobody confessed their feelings for you?.- He lifted his head a little to see her face.

 

-I know when someone likes me, but isn't love and since I am the Inquisitor nobody dares to get closer, maybe is just admiration you know... and before well, I haven't had a nice life, I preferred sex over love it was safer, is just I made huge mistake, I fell in love with.... it doesn't matter anymore, right now that person will be sighing with relief.-

 

-He loved you?.- He asked, so that was the reason she visited him tonight, she needed someone.

 

-I loved him, I mean I still love him, but I don't want to love him anymore, I guess my love will fade giving time, if he loved me... he never told me what he felt with words I could understand.- She played with her fingers on his skin, he might like it because he sighed happily.

 

-Don't be sad my little flower, out there is someone for you, I'm sure.- She felt his fingers caressing her hair.

 

-Gereon.....-

 

-Mmmm??.-He was quite relaxed at this point.

 

-I want to have a baby can you help me with that? He looked down at her with a puzzled look on his face.

 

Do you want me to get you pregnant?.-

 

-Why not, you had one once, we know your sword is sharp hehehehe, you know is what my body wants now, but .. I know I can't.- She squeezed his waist, his hand gently caress her back slowly.

 

 

-Ummm don't worry about that now, you'll have time for having your own, I'm sure... and what about us? I guess you want to keep this as a secret..- He fantasized about her having his child, how much he missed having a baby in his arms, his baby, with her... that sounded beautiful but he brought himself back to reality with his own question.

 

-No more secrets, I'll do whatever I want, with the person I want and nobody is allowed to tell me if is right or no, I'm The Inquisitor, I give my blood for all of them, they have no right to tell me how to live my life and if someone say it well, for their own safety they better keep their mouth shut.- She sounded menacing for the first time since they meet in that tavern in Red Cliff, she wasn't joking like most of the time.

 

Alexius exhaled and closed his eyes, she has changed.

 

Soon she fell asleep in his arms and he followed her soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's dome :) please be kind leave a comment or kudos, if you do, thank you very much for reading this.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being so slow I apologize T_T
> 
> The Inquisitor tries to defend her personal life, Solas is desperate and there will be gossip.

She dreamed of a woman in a garden, with a child playing in the background, she was just observing, it doesn't seems to be the fade and it feels normal, nothing strange happens in the dream except for a visitor.

 

-Hello Solas, you went to your room?.- She saw him slowly approaching her, with his hands holding each other.

 

-I'm afraid I fell asleep on your bed, is a comfortable bed... may I have your permission to stay?.-

 

She shrugs.

 

-Take a seat.- She said pointing to the stone bench she was sitting on.

 

-Good... can I visit your dreams as we did before?.... you know to watch over you...- Solas sat by her side and took her hand.

 

-Where you slept last night?- He squeezed her hand.

 

-In another room, Solas why are you here??.- She turned around to look at him.

 

-I missed you so much, I needed to talk to you, I want to apologize for the way I treated you.. you deserve better.- He rested his head on her shoulder, he missed her so much.

 

The Inquisitor chuckled.

-I know I deserve better, apologies accepted.. and I was selfish, I apologize for that, I'll try to do the best for our friendship, from now, only friendship and casual sexual encounters.- Her voice sounded serious and that alarmed Solas.

 

-What do you mean casual sexual encounters, with other men you mean?.- Solas took her face, forcing the woman to look at him.

-Of course, what do you expect? Love.. is bad for me... in my current situation, better after we defeat Corypheus, sex is more practical right now you know....- She tried to explain the best she could, the better she gets over her failed relationship with Solas, the better for her and the Inquisition.

 

-So you're going to have sex with any man that cross your path... isn't it?... where are you sleeping right now?.-His heart was beating fast in his chest.

 

-Please Solas, leave me alone, what it's done it's done, leave me alone please.- Her dream began to melt and all went black before he opened his eyes, quickly he went to find her, he has to find her.

 

*******************************************

 

 

The sun began to rise in the sky while the stars still there bright above.

 

 

She woke up with tears in her eyes and Alexius around her waist, snoring a little right under her ear, she shifted her body to look at his face, to trace the lines on his skin with his fingertips, she kissed him on the lips.

 

-Please take my sadness away ….- She murmured kissing him again and again.

 

The man opened his eyes, smiling like an idiot, pulling her very close.

 

-Mmm.... what a nice way to wake up, I can get used to that, what.. is everything alright?.- He said alarmed when he saw her face under the soft light of few candles he just lighted with a swift motion of his hand.

 

-Had a bad dream, please hold me Gereon, can you please take care of me right now?.- Alexius was terrified, how vulnerable she really is, of course he will care for her.

 

-All is going to be alright, don't worry my little flower I'm here and I always will.- His words had a positive effect in her, all she can think is Solas, even when she tried to move along about Solas having sex with another man, it doesn't change the fact she still loves him, and that will last like a wound in the flesh, it will take time until that wound becomes a scar.

 

 

Alexius held her for long time, he doesn't care at all, if it means he hold her like this for ever.

 

-Maybe we should get ready for our day? I should go back before all the people see me around like this, half naked with a blanket....- She rested her back on the headboard, Alexius did the same.

 

-I think I have some pants that should fit you, they gave me these at first but were too small, let me take a look.- He jumped out the bed and went to the drawer beside the door, naked, and to be fair the man was a nice view, specially the rear view, she pulled up her blanket to her nose, suddenly she blushed.

 

He threw a pair of leather pants on the bed.

 

-Try them on, you might fold the bottom... - He suggested and went to put on his smalls and pants.

 

-Yes, enough to don't stumble on them.- The pants fit pretty well, her hips fill them, and of course she had to fold the bottom, Alexius was buttoning his shirt when she stepped in front of him, she finished that for him and tugged the shirt loosely in his pants, he was delighted with her attentions, he kissed her suddenly on the lips with the devotion of a man in love no less, holding her face with his hands.

 

-I must go, please eat some breakfast and get ready, I see you later in the undercroft?.- She broke the kiss slowly before she spoke, he simply nodded. She brushed her hair with her fingers and made a simple low bun tied with a thin leather strap Alexius had somewhere, he was washing his face, getting ready to shave his slight beard that takes him three days to grow, she hugged him from behind and she rubbed his chest with her hands, the man was smiling, she saw it in the mirror.

 

-I must go to get really ready, keep my blanket, now is yours.- She said giving him a playful slap on his butt, he chuckled.

 

-Thank you inquisitor... I'm your humble servant.- He bowed and winked at her, she left quickly to her quarters hoping not to find some familiar faces in her way, meanwhile Alexius was floating in a puddle of love and butterflies, a man of his age, blushing like an idiot, this may be temporary but, Maker, thank you.

 

She found some guards in her way, she arrived safely to her room, the fireplace was only a bunch of embers, she washed herself quickly and changed her clothes, she brushed her long hair and keep it in place with a simple but efficient braid, she lightly colored her lips with some Orlesian make up, it was a crimson dust mixed with oils, the cold air make her lips dry, so now she felt good and looked pretty.

 

Suddenly she noticed the blanket on her bed, she haven't left it there, unless Solas slept there, Solas.... the blanket smelled of him, she hopes he gave up and went to his room, she folded the blanket and left it on the bed, she wanted time for herself, until someone called for her she will remain in her room, resting on her bed, she doesn't want to confront people, she doesn't want to talk to people and even less with Solas, but that's a battle she couldn't avoid for too long, sooner or later will happen.

 

What about now?

 

Solas opened the door and quickly went up stairs, he was out of breath and stood right in front the bed.

 

-You're here, we need to talk about what you said in your dream.- Solas said with something that resembled fear in his voice, she left the bed and stood right in front of him.

 

-Solas we are no longer together, I understood late but I did, was my fault not yours, was my fault to put you in this situation..... Solas I free you, you're free from the burden of my love.- She held his face with her little hands.

 

His face twisted into a painful expression.

 

-What now, are you going to have sex with all Skyhold to punish me?- His forehead touch hers, his eyes tightly closed and his hands caressing her waist.

 

-No Solas, I don't want to punish you, I want to be happy and you will be happy without my love... listen whatever is tormenting you... I'm here to talk if you want, I'm your friend, you're here for ever in my heart.- She placed his hand on her heart and kissed him softly on the lips.

 

-You're love is not a burden, never has... I'm so sorry if I made you feel like it was a burden, because is not, it's a treasure....a blessing...- This time he kissed her, but his was more heated and passionate, Solas can't help it.

 

-I love you..- He finally said to keep her with him, the last straw.

 

-Now you tell me that, how many times... countless time I wished these words from your lips... but it's too late, hate me if that helps you, but I … I had spent the night with another man, it means nothing important to me, but what it's done it's done and I'm not going to keep it as a dirty secret, you will hear rumors, you will see things that you might not like, my decision it's made Solas there is no turning back for me.- She stepped back, something cracked inside her.

 

Solas is processing the information.

 

-Now if you don't mind I have things to do.- She quickly left the room and Solas behind.

 

Not only she rejected him, she shared the bed with another man, his biggest fear, a single tear ran down his cheek and felt like his world was shaken, again, he knew she was a woman with a firm conviction, once she makes a decision there is no turning back and all hopes to have her back, banished, because his stubbornness, because his inability to tell her how much he loved her because she is human, how tolerant he thought he was... and his prejudices destroyed what he had, his head is spinning, the elf sat on her bed.

 

-I was going to abandon her at the end of her mission.... I did this to myself... I deserve this, how I'm going to live without her?..... - Desperate Solas cried a little more and murmured things to himself, when he felt a little better he left her bed and her room, he went to his own, to sleep.

 

The Inquisitor busied herself all day, avoiding everybody if she could, only taking her dance lessons with Josephine, attending meetings with noble people of Thedas, inspecting the newest recruits, practicing archery giving some useful knowledge of her own and visiting the kitchen to see how they were feeding the people, food was very important, food keeps people happy in difficult times.

 

She ate all her meals in her quarters, alone, by the afternoon she went to visit Josie with a peculiar petition.

 

-Josephine, I have a special petition for you, I want a potato sack filled with sand, sand from the Western Approach, clean, only sand, can you do that for me?.-Josie looked confused.

 

-Of.. of course, can I ask why?......- Josephine asked with curious eyes.

 

-It's a gift, something special for someone I care about.- She simply said, and Josie's eyes sparkled.

 

-A loved one??.- The ambassador asked lacing her fingers together.

 

-Hahahaha... no, a good friend, ah and tell Varric, Cassandra and Dorian to be ready for our next quick trip to the Emerald Graves, we leave tomorrow in the morning, is there a message from my old boss?.-

 

-I will Inquisitor, I will ask Leliana, but we haven't had news, I guess is too soon, but as soon I get anything you'll be informed.- Josie smiled, she sensed something was wrong with the Inquisitor, since when she was so formal? Maybe she's just tired.

 

-Thank you Josephine, I would be lost without you.- She winked and left to the kitchens, where she took a piece of cake, for certain evil magister in the undercroft.

 

Alexius was wearing an apron and large leather gloves that covered his elbows, he was carefully manipulating red lyrium, while a strange magic covers the little red stone, the mage has a book open on the table, which he checks after every step. He turns the page with a wooden stick.

 

-Hello... if you're busy I leave, I don't want to disturb your study..- She hesitated with every word he said.

 

Alexius turned to look at her and a huge smile adorned his face, quickly he left, his apron and globes on the table and went to say hi.

 

Dagna and Harritt stopped their work to look at them.

 

-You never bother me my lady, I'm so happy to see you again.-He gently kissed her hand and she presented the cake.

 

-Brought you this, I hope you like it.- He smiled widely, she makes him immensely happy with these little things.

 

-You make this old man very happy...- He took the plate.

 

-Old?, each wrinkle is a experience of your life.. the remainders of a life, and you had a full life.- She caressed the wrinkles like tracing a path on a map, he took her hand and made her touch the ones on his forehead.-

 

-These ones.... are the ones I earned when I knew my son burned an expensive carpet, that's how me an my wife knew our son would be a mage, but also, when me and my wife spent a lots of sleepless nights taking care of our baby, telling him not to trust the bad guys in his dreams....- Alexius then kissed her on the lips, briefly but he did it.

 

-Gereon..... that was beautiful.... you old dog.. you are going to make me fall in love with you....- He chuckled.

 

-Aaah I wish I was that cleaver..... is just, you know what I feel..- He left the plate with the cake on a barrel and pulled her closer for another kiss, sweet and affectionate, she likes them a lot, this man cares, really cares for her, for real and tells her.

 

-Tomorrow I'll leave Skyhold to make a quick visit to the Emerald Graves, we can spend the night together if you wish.

 

-Yes of course, tomorrow please, take care, do it for me my lady promise me you will..- His grip around her waist tightened.

 

-I will, don't worry about me Alexius, I'll be fine, will be a short adventure and I'll be back in no time because soon I'll be at the great ball in Halamshiral..... I'll go to your room then?.- She asked bu Alexius looked somber, sad.

 

-If something happens to you and I'm not there to protect you....I..- The Inquisitor silenced him caressing his lips with hers.

 

-Hush, I'm used to fight, I'm experienced in battle, all the scars you touched last night, are proof enough to understand I'm hard to kill.....- Her nose caressing his in a playful and tender manner, Dagna and Harritt pretend to be working but instead they are observing the scene, what a juicy gossip.

 

-Well....... yes of course, come to my room after the dinner, maybe I can chain you there so you can't leave Skyhold tomorrow.- Alexius chuckled,.

 

-Hehehe, I'll be there, I see you in the dinner hall?.- She asked caressing his chest with her hands very slowly.

 

-Yes, I can save you a spot by my side if you don't mind being seen with me.- He said smiling lost in her eyes.

 

-I don't mind, you're your ally now isn't it?, I'll be glad to be with you at dinner and after dinner....Alexius... are you.. are you really agree with our kind of relationship?.-The man smiled while he caressed her braid.

 

-I love you and you don't, however, you choose me to be with me, being a man of my age, I can only be thankful for being allowed to touch you. Of course if you loved me as well, that would be wonderful, but you must be free, without the distraction and the complications of love your life as the Inquisitor will be much more easier and less stressful...- She doesn't know how to take his words, she's feeling guilty right now, for not loving him, she feels affection for him and tenderness and the benefits of an experienced lover.

 

-My love, don't feel guilty, I'm a grown man, I'll understand if you find another man, to marry or to spend a night with.-

 

-Is just I don't want to hurt your feelings if.. you know...- Her hands still on his chest.

 

-Don't worry about that, I'll be fine, you're free, our relationship is informal, you're a beautiful woman who should be happy, don't let a man tie you down, not now, you'll find your moment.- He wont be fine, damn, he loves her, but he respect her freedom and he agreed that night they slept together.

 

He kissed her one last time and she left smiling, happy, she is just a woman who wants to be loved, and he does it.

 

*********************************

 

She haven't seen Solas in all day, The Inquisitor is worried and is time for dinner.

 

********************************

 

Solas slept all day trying to find the answer for his problems in the fade, being there was calming and made him feel safer, but once he opens his eyes, he was sad again, deeply inside his mind and soul he knew it was the best, for both, he only laments the way he shared her bed, the way he loved her the time they spent together, poor woman, he thinks, she deserved more love, she deserves a better man, not him, the life she wants, is a life Solas.... he simply can't... not now, and maybe never.

 

Solas still miss her, her touch, her smell, her everything, his love for her will last for ever, but he will endure because he survived worst things, he will survive, Solas told to himself in the darkness of his room, while his body is curled under one of her blankets he took for himself as a remainder.

 

 

But this body has to eat, Solas is hungry.

 

*****************************************

 

 

-Are you gone mad? He can not be your lover, he's much older than you and he is...- Dorian was upset because she told him about her lover, Gereon Alexius.

 

-Stop right there Dorian, he loves me, he told me and we're just having fun, like you do and I don't even ask, because that's your business not mine.- She told him upset, her arms folded on her chest.

 

-I see... so, we're leaving Skyhold tomorrow, I'll get ready all my stuff.

 

-Yes, you're already played mom and dad enough with that kid, remember why we are here, would you?.

 

Dorian looked away, she was right he neglected his duty for too long, but being a tutor was time consuming, the kid was progressing a lot but maybe the mages can take care of him for one or two weeks, he was so busy that his friendship with the Inquisitor right now was a little abandoned, he feels like he missed something important.

 

 

She left.

 

Dorian wants to speak with Alexius before the dinner.

 

*******************************

 

 

Alexius sat on his habitual spot in the main hall, he even saved a place for her, the people stared at him, half glances and whispers, rumors spread quickly in Skyhold, like fire sometimes, and their display of affection earlier maybe started these rumors or maybe someone heard her conversation with Dorian.

 

The thing was, people normally avoided Alexius like a bad diarrhea, but today people noticed him, in a strange and confused way. Some of them even smiled at him, smiled!

 

When the inquisitor sat beside him, she greet him touching his knee under the table.

 

-Is everything right Gereon?.- She asked.

 

-The people is nice with me, and they stare at me.... also, Dorian, he just scolded me with the following sermon as well...a man of my age, can you believe that? Dorian could be my son!- Alexius rubbed the sides of his forehead.

 

She smiled pressing her knee against his.

 

-They better treat you right Gereon, you already were condemned and you're doing what you were told, if someone touch you... well I'll get rid of that person or persons, such behavior shouldn't be allowed in my fortress.- With every word she said, he loved her even more.

 

Solas showed up for dinner, then he saw her and the way she spoke with the Tevinter mage.

 

-No, I can't...- He murmured to himself and turned around right to the kitchen, maybe a time without her will be the best, he was always present in the Inquisitor's party, always for some reason she always kept him present in her adventures, now he knew why, but he was used to be always with her despite she rotated the rest of the members.

 

It hurts, she doesn't want to be with him, but Solas can not blame her.

 

Maybe he can use this time apart to focus in his duty.

 

But right now he filled a bowl with soup and some spiced chicken and ate it right there in the kitchen.

 

*******************************

 

 

-Inquisitor, may I have a word with you?.- Cullen asked after the dinner was ended pulling her to a discrete corner.

 

-What is it Commander?.- She said resting her hands on her hips, while Alexius was peeling an apple with a little knife, the man was skilled, with a swift movement of his wrist and fingers the skin of the apple came out in a single and long piece.

 

-Will you consider to stop..... spending time with the... you know, the mage..- He said the last word like it was a blasphemy.

 

She simply looked at him, she had a neutral expression on her face, took his arm and they went to the stairs that lead to her quarters.

 

-Listen to me Commander and listen carefully, nobody, not even you, are here to question my personal choices, nobody, I do my part already, my actions towards my duty are impeccable and successful, you have all you need, our spymaster and our ambassador have all they need, I want you out of my private life, it's an order.- The message was clear and she turned around to look at the large tables.

 

Cullen was hurt, he shouldn't but he is.

 

-I speak as your friend, not your commander...- He stumbled with his words, like he did when they met.

 

Suddenly she took his hand.

 

-And I appreciate your concern but nothing will change, my private life is mine, only mine, I've decided not to fall in love, love is a mistake for a person in my situation, more concerns in my already stressful life? No thanks, sex yes, but nothing more, you shouldn't be afraid Cullen, I'm fine.-

 

She explained and he understood, but what happened? She was with someone, that went bad? It was Blackwall after all?, but it seems the man have something with Josephine…. Then who was?.

 

-Can we talk before you leave tomorrow? Still early to sleep and someone gave me a bottle of Antivan wine...- He wanted to ask, also all of them wanted to be more affectionate with her, they were concerned for her bitterness lately, honestly Cullen cares for her, for many reasons.

 

-Antivan wine you said? Nice, give me a moment, you should invite me to your new room, you never officially invited me to some tea and pastries up there... or wine!.- She chuckled lighting the mood a little between them.

 

-Good I'll be waiting in my quarters Inquisitor, see you there my friend.- Cullen left with a smile on his lips, she winked at him and went to speak with Alexius.

 

She spoke with Alexius and told him that she will be back in a couple of hours, she will join him in his room later.

 

Cullen decided to wear something more comfortable, a simple shirt and some comfortable wool pants, it was a mix of fibers, it was warm and soft, he wore them in the coldest nights with his warm slippers made of leather and soft fur of some animal, probably a sheep.

 

She looked around Cullen's quarters, the place had different things, looked more like a home than a bedroom, but had book and papers here and there.

 

-Hey Cullen, where is that wine??. -She asked taking a seat on the comfortable white couch, Cullen looks relaxed and content, he poured two glasses of wine and sat with her.

 

-So what happened with that person, things didn't work?.- He asked getting comfortable in the couch, taking a sip of wine he looked at her.

 

-No, sadly, but and can not blame him, we wanted different things that's all, I wasn't happy neither he was, so I decided to end it.- She took a sip of wine, it was delicious.

 

-Can I ask...who was?.- He tentatively asked, he was trying to be more familiar with her, more friendly, also he was very curious.

 

-I guess it doesn't matter any longer, as long as you keep my secret, it was Solas.- Cullen almost chokes on his wine.

 

-Solas? Are you serious? I mean why?.- Cullen was in shock.

 

She laughed.

 

-Believe me I was the first surprised in all this when I realized about my feelings, I fell in love with him from head to toes, but that's the past now.... you don't have to worry about it, what about you, you tested the strong floor of your new room?.- She suddenly felt sad but quickly shacked the thoughts out of her head with her question.

 

-I must say I did it, a couple of times indeed, would you like to test it with me?.- The moment he asked the moment he regrets his own words, he feels so comfortable around her.

 

She chuckled seeing how his face went from a sweet smile to pure embarrassment.

 

-Yes I'll be glad to do it, but not now, I have to wake up early, I'm glad you took sometime to enjoy yourself Cullen, I really do.- She caressed his face.

 

-Will you consider then..... to spend some time with me? now that you're free... maybe ..- The man closes his eyes feeling her soft touch, he sweetly kissed the palm of her hand.

 

-I told you, I want to, when I return from the emerald graves, what do you say, will you give me something in advance?.- She smiled when he took the glass from her hand and literally jumped over her like a hungry animal to kiss her lips, like nothing else existed, she squeezed his bottom with her hands making him groan in her mouth, she can feel how Cullen was getting hard with every touch, these soft pants he wore do not leave much to the imagination.

 

Her hands explore his sides and chest, he is so overwhelming, so handsome, so attractive, so sexual that was hard to believe it was Cullen.

 

-I think I'm going to … make love to you tonight... I can't stop myself, you don't know how much I wanted this, I waited so much, I can barely control myself.- He purred pushing his hips against hers.

 

She smiles, well, she haven't planed this, maybe was the wine they drank, but her body wanted him, and she promised to herself to be free to enjoy the attention of other men, no more complications no more romantic love, no more Solas, for her own good and mental health.

 

She pulled up his shirt and her hand disappeared under his already lose pants, she wrapped her fingers around his hard and pulsating member, it was big, but nothing strange for a man of his size, her wrist moved and he went completely crazy, humping in her hand slowly, moaning devouring her lips.

 

-Oh Cullen, you're a gift of the gods and a naughty chantry boy, undress me and fuck me.- She ordered and that order lit a fire in his chest, undressing her with her help, he almost rip open her shirt and when she was completely naked, Cullen can't help it but bury his face between her abundant breasts, licking sucking her nipples, suddenly the commander lifted her likes she was a feather, allowing her to touch the ground with her bare feet, she was against the wall, with his hand between her legs, caressing her, making her even more wet, teasing her with one or two fingers.

 

Her hand pleasing him, and her lips on his.

 

There is no turning back at this point.

 

Again lifted her, and with her legs around his waist he began to thrust, she was so wet, Cullen almost melt inside her, he thrusts inside her few times and then took her to his bed.

 

He was lost in her eyes, her arms around his neck, she kisses him with passion, Cullen found the eye contact absolutely arousing and erotic, the way she tangles her fingers in his curls, she is all he wants now, his fingers began to please her where she needs most and soon the woman was out of control with him buried inside her and his teeth on her neck and shoulders, she came and all her body was shaken with intense wave of pleasure.

 

Instead of going faster to reach his own climax, Cullen decided to do it slowly, kissing her, slow and deep penetrations, very very intimate and sweet, wen he came it was devastating for him, deep inside of her, she was caressing his back and hair, sweetly as well, Cullen stayed quietly kissing her, still inside her, moments later he decided to roll on his back, pulling her closer.

 

 

 

She was there with her head on his chest.

 

-This.. this was beautiful, stay with me tonight, that would be wonderful...- His tight embrace made her feel nice.

 

-I would like it but.... I have to wake up early, otherwise I would stay....- She said stepping out of the bed collecting her clothes and getting dressed, Cullen couldn't be less and helped her, she got dressed and he only put up his soft pants and led her to the stairs.

 

-I would like to do this more often with you.... you don't know how much I wanted this.... since the day we meet I couldn't take my eyes from you ….- He whispered the last part holding her face and then he kissed her one last time.

 

 

With her hands on his chest, she can feel the warmth of his body radiating intense, and asked herself ,why she delayed this so much, because this man is practically perfect.

 

-See you tomorrow before I leave … Sleep tight Cullen, maybe we can repeat this in the future.-She winked and left, that night Cullen had a sleepless night, and indeed he slept really well.

 

 

That night she went to sleep in Alexius arms, the man just kept her closer, but she smelled different tonight and his heart understood or at least he can guess.

 

Everybody in the main gates, Josephine, Leliana, Cullen as well and her group, she handed a letter regarding to that sack of sand she wanted, explained few things to Josie and they left Skyhold with their horses.

 

Solas was observing from the balcony outside his rotunda, with a pain in his chest.

 

When she crossed the main gates, she knew it, she was lost and falling without control in his personal life, she no longer knows what she is doing, at least her professional life go quite well.

 

 

 

 


End file.
